lead me on the path of righteousness and love...

hellllloooo..... oh my god.. i feel so sorry for myself now... i have done so many wrong things.... and not done anything that benefits me... sigh.

today morning went to church. thank God. i still have time to correct myself. i really need to list out them out man. i'm ruining myself!!!

i feel so bad now.... can i just be left alone???

i'm sorry.

think whatever you want. do whatever you want. say whatever you want.

i shall not care.

can i just be rude for now.














































fuck off.

Melvin i love you!!!

hey... haha.. it's 1.23 in the morning.. and tomorrow have to wake up early to go to church!! haha.. today was nice!! even though some weird things happened.. okay.. woke up at 12 today.. being a pig again.. then ate lunch.. played some game.. then melvin called.. haha.. went to his house.. "do homework".. my father doesnt trust me.. i wont cross the line okay... sigh. anyway was in melvin's house.. looking at him use the computer.. then sean arrived.. was crapping away.. haha.. then went to jurong point to have dinner.. okay this is the main part..

we decided to eat in pizza hut.. then, sean saw a cute malay guy who was the waiter.. and of course we made a commotion over it. first, melvin i tried to go close to him to get his bloody name.. and it was lallang.. or however you spell it. then we carried on with our food.. taking looks at him once in a while. i wasnt that interested.. i had a headache, so i needed water. so, as expected we purposely called for that cuuuuutee guy for the glass of water. i think that was when he sense a bit of ermm... weirdness. anyway, melvin and sean were planning to get his number!! using me. and by accident, when sean was looking at my handphone.. and when that cuuuutee guy walked past us.. i said out loud, "faster take!!".. and thanks, he heard. was embarrassed then.. but now i think about it.. actually that smile he had was so sweet!!! haha... so he thinks i was interested in him... and melvin was persistent in getting his number... haha.. well, i'm too lazy to type the rest...

sorry melvin, i finally understand your situation... i'm not good at words!! i cant say anything to help or console you... but i'll always be there for you... dont worry, and cheer up!

so... just now.. was with meiqi and sean.. wanted to watch movie.. but forget it. no nice shows. then went to coffee bean to sit and drink. had some fun with the handphone.. took pictures and video... it was nice.. had some nice pictures.. haha.. then went to the ulu carpark.. was okay.. lazy to type..

wanna sleep already..

good night.

sweet dreams.

=)

taufik!

hello... haha.. just watched singapore idol... taufik and sylvester went into the finals... haha... like that, how will singapore vote?? chinese VS malay.. hope is whole singpaore VS those screaming girls crazy over sylvester!! haha...

anyway today morning went to band... then after that went to meet sean they all at orchard.. was okay.. tired walking around.. in band talked to nadia.. and thanks!! for saying things that are not true about me... whatever! i dont have to care... i know my limits!!!!! sigh.

so what else... gonna start piano lessons in december.. haha. hope it doesnt affect my studies.. i have to learn how to organise and schedule my times!!! sigh... everyday must at least do some work and study!!! dont go out too much.. leave the fun times to around christmas.. haha...

off.

good night.

















do you not ever believe in me?





















am i that hard to trust?













call yourself a friend?

















whatever.






















i'm not that great either.

WHATEVER!

the moon is mine tonight!

oh my god oh my god oh my god.. haha.. i got a hp already.. but i dont know why.. i'm not that excited or happy.. just have to spend less next time... cannot use too much sms.. haha.

nothing to say...

good night.

happy holidays!!!

how i wish i was simple-minded......

as simple as an amoeba.

how i wish........

hello...... haha... am doing the online homework now... no mood to do lah... just do a few more then forget it... have to finish up maths!!! i feel better now, better than in the afternoon. so crazy lor. mood swings. bitch. i am really an ass. so mean to some people. sigh. okay now i'm not gonna use any singapore abbreviations anymore. have to improve my english yeah? my sister got C6 for her english in o'levels... sigh. i'm afraid i will too... so must start reading!! anyway i have some plans for this holiday. firstly i am very looking forward to Christmas!! my favourite time of the year. haha. wait, i wanna continue my summary of the trip to NZ.

Day 4/5
set off to kiwipaka Waitomo. the hostels were great. haha. the waitomo caves!! were damn beautiful. once of the most amazing thing i've ever seen in my freaking life. spent 2 days at the hostel there... was quite nice. although left out by the band. oh ya.. after coming out of the caves, we played volleyball. was fun!! haha. first time i played... i wanna try again. and we played with this guy, paul. he's so nice. but some asses want to speak in chinese and mock him. what the fuck? have some manners can or not??? fuckers... anyway paul was the one who drove us up the erm, hill? haha. dont know why, but i remember him. so all thanks to zhizhang, jia xin and me feel so fucking left out. call us extras?? fuck lah! other than that, dont really remember what happened... at night played pool with those guys... fun. haha.

day 6.
in kiwipaka rotorua. the rottenrua place. haha. was kind of smelly, that place. cause of the sulphur from volcanos and stuff. then went to the volcano place. was okay... and shopping too. at night, went to dipping in the hot pool. fun! with yibiao, libin they all... talking and stuff... for two nights. that's it... forgot about the rest.

day 7.
in airplane back to singapore.

i miss New Zealand!!!!

anyway my must-dos for the holiday.
-study!!!! revise all sec 3 topics.
-learn piano
-room spring-cleaning.
-buy christmas presents and cards. for karena and family, sean, melvin, jiaxin, tsz ho, sandy, and whoever i think of next.
-buy birthday presents. laa, daniel, bimbo, ...
-save money!!
-get money back from madelyne
-enjoy life!!!
-...
-be a good catholic.

haha... so, make sure i do them. love life now!!!!!!!!!!!!

good night!

God bless!

=)

homework, homework, homework.

hello... today's monday... holiday after hari raya yesterday... didnt blog since thursday ya?? actually come online wanted to do the online homework thing!! but what the fuck? how and where to go to the the work?? sigh. forget it lor, i'll just blog. later must finish the bloody maths homework.. and i know how to do lah!!! what the fuck man. i dont care lah, just scold all i want in this entry. sigh..... dont know why i feel so irritated. i'll just talk about what happened the past few days lor.

friday... what the hell did i do?? oh ya... had band practice in the morning. the SYF set piece came out already.. so freaking short! one page only. of course making it sound bloody good is the challenge lah. trombone section!!!! can we sound much better!?!?!?! sigh. then after band went home. sleep and slack. played game... then went to auntie jenny's house for some kinda farewell party for mummy. okay lor... loaded the pictures into the CD already.. haha.. but realised actually i didnt take much pictures in NZ. sigh. but never mind.. memories can liao.... then nothing much lor. sat around in the house. watched singapore idol.. daphne out!! haha.. luckily not taufik. actually i hoped sylvester out lor... but who cares lah. taufik just rocks lah!!! then ate the BBQ food. watched tv... then home.

next day saturday. my mum flew off to philippines with charlynn.. went to changi airport to send them off. quite sad leh. they're coming back next year. mummy merry christmas!!! after that went to plaza singapura. saw taufik, olinda and syl there... haha.. some autograph session.. i waved at taufik and he waved back at me!!! i think. haha. loves him lah!! then met sean. walked around in PS.. wanted to watch movie.. but the timing not right leh... went to orchard.. walk walk.. nothing much lah. then went back to bukit batok.. sat in coffee bean. home.

sunday.. went to church in the morning. no class!! haha.. so just attended mass.. went to jurong point. had mcdonalds for breakfast?? then went to melvin's house. nothing lor. waited for him to finish up his homework. then went to orchard. aiya. he already summarised the outing in our blog. sorry jiaxin, i'll always be there for you!! dont care about all those freaking assholes lah!! then home. tried to do homework, but fell asleep. so today... no going out.. just do my work!! and later got theory lesson. hope my teacher wont be angry lah!!!

sigh. anyway i wanted to continue my summary of the NZ trip.. but nadia just told me how to go to the online homework thing... so i have to do!!! argh!!! i'm just so sick and tired now of doing school work. BUT I JUST HAVE TO. O ' LEVELS!!! sigh..........

good day.

sorry sorry sorry!!! i feel like i have done thousand of wrong things. sigh.

what the fuck.

off.

Oh my god.

hello... today's Deepavali. happy Deepavali to all my indian friends out there.. laavanyah, poovanes, miss punitha, saranya, arun etc.. later tonight going to laa's house. hope to have fun.. and happy birthday sze xin!! may all your dreams and wishes come true!! like you will read this lah, but still.

anyway.. according to my title.. i've got myself into some shit lah. since dont know when. i'm really such a bitch lah!! god!!! welcome his erm, you know. i'm not really serious lah k... urgh!! what should i do???

and what short form have i for them... erm.. bbs.. haha. ok bbs are or were enjoying at miis punitha's house.. sigh. i missed out the fun!!! argh.

and my studies.... wow........ sigh. i really gotta start doing tomorrow. but everyday got something on!!! sigh. tomorrow needa go with my mum to her friend's house... load my pictures.. which is a must! sigh. i cannot lose them!!! then saturday send my mum off at the airport.. she's going to philippines.. with charlynn.. wish ya all good luck there. will miss. then after that dont know lah.. hope i can get the ball rolling and study!!! sunday... church. then sure wanna go out with sean.. monday.. band.. after that. please go home can??? go home!!! then tuesday back to school and must pass up some homework!! sigh................. tired..

off now.

bye.

bless me.

tze jie i dont wanna be your enemy.

back from New Zealand. In a mess.

hey hey... harlow.. today's tuesday.. came back from NZ on sunday night. touched to see my family waiting for me there.. haha.. but thanks lah.. got scolded and humiliated by freaking mdm fadilah. not i make the decisions one right!!! argh! whatever! blame my dad lah... made my cry.. what the fuck... that's why i had no mood to talk about my trip that night. and i'm sorry. sigh. then had mcdonalds in changi airport. talked to nadia on the handphone.. haha.. then home. slept straight away lah. without changing or showering. i'm such a pig.

then monday.. nothing much also.. cant blog cause fucking internet explorer got problem... then did nothing.. wait until 5 plus.. went to school collect my luggage.. fetched mathangi and jiaxin home in my dad's car... haha.. then went home.. prepared for music theory lesson. was okay lor. decided to learn piano.. yippeee!! haha.. then after that home. totally did nothing meaningful day lah.

today.. back to lessons. in a mess lah. so many things havent learn... so many things missed out. sigh. want to start working also so hard. after lessons went out with bimbos and snowball.. was nice.. haha.. being with them is always so fun. went to have lunch at foodcourt.. MC... then was having a freaking fuss over some sean and friends stuff lah. i can just say that it's so FUCKING CHILDISH lah. and i have nothing to do with it. and i'm just gonna go with the flow. and i hope my friendships with the people i love wont be ruined. haha... and i'm sorry if you think i'm a liar. cause i make up my mind very easily.. and i mostly do things on the spur of the moment. i can say i'm doing this later, and later i'm doing another thing. sorry lah... sigh. i just dont go with my plans. so after some walks and talks.. home.

so let me talk about the NZ trip.. oh my god.. i hope i can remember.

day 1.
arrived at auckland airport. waited until 6 am. boarded the bus. the weather was cool. haha. then went to mt ethen. an extinct volcano. nice! windy.. and the view was of the whole of auckland. there was this big crater. cool. eh wait.. the view from the plane was damn nice lah! first time see... haha.. especially during sunset. wow... okay then after the mt ethen. travelled to mahurangi college to place our instruments and meet our buddies. jiaxin, mathangi and i got karena.. haha.. then went to her house. and slept the whole day. had dinner.. met the handsome brother, jared. and his girlfriend.. haha.. he bought back some fireworks. and he lit them, so beautiful!! and the stars on the first night was wonderful.

day 2.
snells beach. had bbq lunch. canoed. sea biscuit. fun!

day 3.
performance at the college. after that went to sian's farm. haha. nice loh. saw the animals. climbed the mini hill. yep.. then went to sheep's world or what. fed the animals. got this animal show. nice. haha.

day 4.
went to this beach. had the glass bottom boat thing. haha.. ok lor. i dont really remember lah... sigh

forget it. i'm not typing anymore. i'm tired.

good night.