never was and never will be.

hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahha. i wonder who reads my blog man... please tag thanks.. hahaha..

really so relax now.. past few days been going to orchard. buy stuffs for grad night. i bought my dress already. i just wish it's alright! and no one wears the same shit as me. haha. what's worst? overdressed, underdressed, or wearing the same thing as somebody else.

and....... my sis took some goth-like pics of me. hahaha. i'm not photogenic.. so not very nice. and freaking melvin didnt say he died man.... hahaha. never mind i'll take that as a compliment. too pretty already. haha.. why am i kidding myself.

aiya.. tomorrow most importantly is to feel comfortable.

haha. and my mum cut my hair. is alright. not a nightmare luckily. i feel so freaking bad.. forgot to thank her. argh! then yesterday went to see cy in guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg. hahahah. i'm so full of shit. depression after coming out of my mum's salon. i'm sorry man... sigh.

hahahahhaha!!! i'm dying once again.

anyway laa's birthday was quite nice. we watched harry potter. i dunno the story and all that. but i'm so good! recognising ralph fiennes by his mi ren de eyes. haha. jokes. anyway he acted as voldermot(or how you spell it ahha).

then we ate in swensens. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! really screams. the waiter. i know.. being shallow and all. but... haha. that's not all. some other stuffs and i shall not say. hahaha.

haha.. later no piano lesson again. sigh.. teacher always sick. wonder what's going on. so next i'm gonna play game!!!!!!!!!! haha. everday. still got storybooks to read, and comics also.. dies..

prays hard for tomorrow. please accept me acjc!! hahaha.

bloody hypocrite

so it's finally over for us... can do whatever we want now... yesterday after the last paper was good. alright i guess.. we went to search for dresses in orchard and suntec there.. there was not much time.. so couldnt find anything i like. haha. then we went to esplanade there.. sat around and played cards. everywhere looked so pretty. lights and everything. christmas-y feeling. then after that nadia's dad sent us back to bb. nicey. thanks nadia. haha. i met melvin after that. went to zz's house. overnight. they played mahjong, while i played game and watched 'be with you'. quite a nice show. about this ultra loving family and their story. so touching...

argh! feeling angry. everything's not fine.

and then today. jx came to my house suddenly. and we went for band.. played with them.. great!! hahaha. deyong is so nice. and trombone.. woo hoo! dominating section. so proud of them.. hahaha.. then went home. sigh! slept.

okay.. so plans until wednesday..

tomorrow. laa's birthday!!! hahaha. i hope she'll be happy. my dearest. i love you!!!

then monday... go my mum there.. then shop for dress.

tuesday.. nothing yet. but i think i'll stay home and play games. haha.

wednesday!!! okay. i hope time's on my side. morning go that PAE thing.. then after that go acjc band.. i really really really hope i'm good enough for them.. please please please...!!!! so if 12 points is not enough to go in, they'll help me appeal.. hahahaha.. please!

will leave around 1.30.. then go prepare for the big night. hahaha.. hope it'll be fun. but everyone's complaining about not looking good or whatever.. aiya.. it's not that that matters the most most most.

whatever.

sigh.. really whatever!!!!!

fuck.

live, and let live.

just enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAA!

5 more days, 5 more days!!!!

okay.. i wasted another day. didnt study. sigh. just dont feel like..

anyway i had my first holy communion yesterday. it's like, hello?? first holy communion in sec 4?? haha. but it was alright i guess.. at least i had christine and louisse with me. and then i told no one about my suppose-to-be-special day. it's really stupid. then i saw people's families so happy for those pri 3s.. taking photos and all that. both my friends also.. of course i couldnt help but feel abit errrrr.. jealous.. ahahhahaha. no.. dont know man.. so we wore white and that veil on my head. hahaha. holy. and our teacher martin.. next week is the last lesson together. sigh.... sadness again.. and AGAIN. only at the very end, we had nice conversations. they only got to know about my family background. and other stuff. then we took photos.. things always happen only at the end. haha.. mostly.. do you get what i'm saying.. haha.. then we went in.. i was the tallest among them.. oddness. haha. then the normal mass stuff. then poof! my mum appeared.. hahaha. she came to see me when she heard about it. then yeah and all that.. ended i went out with my mum have dinner with her friends. german peeps. marche. then i drank red wine again. hahaha. took taxi home.

so... next year.. gonna join those sec3s for cathechism class.. and get confirmed finally in 2007? haha... nothing is too late. yeah.

so... tuesday paper starts again. sigh. oh god..

i have so many so many things to do during the hols. haha. that i wanna do.

bye..

bullshit.

oh my i'm finally finally blogging. haha. half of the exams are gone.. left a maths geog physics and chem! and time is passing by freaking fast. anyway....... today had e maths paper 2. was alright. all the papers were alright. except for bloody english. i so know that i didnt write well. know nuts about marriage, but i still chose that question. and in the freaking speech didnt freaking compare the choices. sigh............................... it's always like that.. doing alright all along, and right at the very end, i'll blow it. gone. and ss was okay this time.. please please please give me a B3. haha.

today i tried playing my trombone! went to band.. jia xin laa and me.. haha.. was only for a while. yeah we wanted to go to the zoo. hahaha. but no money. $15. so we went to bp plaza.. borrowed a couple of movies. and went to laa's house and watch. hahaha. was nice. maid in manhattan and how to lose a guy in 10 days. romance stuff. sweet and all. and charming guys. haha. as usual. ralph fiennes.. his eyes are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mi ren. haha. and then we went for dinner at the coffee shop near laa's house. haha. chat... then home with jia xin.

came home. bathe. watched survivor. and some other shows.

didnt study.

whew. cant wait for o's to end. yeah yeah yeah. 2 chalets coming up. games to play. outings. lots of stuff....

only problem is....................

argh whatever. also dont know how to say. just hope all will be fine.

23 nov will be a busy day.... 3 things in a day. haha. woo!

acjc!

hahaha. kinda nice man. all the titles names of jcs. anyway. yeah i went there today. today quite a few people went. addition of cheryl jason and jerrold. and subtraction of hwee ting.

i love it there. only thing is transportation quite troublesome. bus then mrt then bus again. prelims 10 points! i have that teeny weeny little chance i guess.. getting 10 points after taking away cca points.

and then.... the band ROCKS. i'm joining it. if the school will accept me.

after the open house. i went to church for that first holy communion rehearsal. oh my oh my oh my. it was quite embarrassing. all the rest were primary school kids. mostly primary 3. only me and those two in my class. and i'm like the oldest. oh my god. save me. haha. have to wear some white dress and a veil(or whatever) on the head. i have to buy??????? oh my god. some more it is during the o's period. argh. and then one week before have to do first confession. seriously. i feel so odd........ ahhh!

why the hell did i join this church so late. i'm baptised at birth. and by right should be going to catechism class since primary one. but some parents of mine wouldnt care less. and now look at the shit i'm in.

actually not that bad.............. just go with the flow. and get confirmed finally.

but i'm doing nothing to be a better catholic.

and the worst thing is i'm like ALONE in that church!?!??!! but i like my class. "special" class for "special" people like me who joined late. christine. louisse. billy. and the teacher. yes people my class is that small. 4 people. and 1 teacher. but they're nice. and finally today we had some nice conversations. haha.

and also wanna thank tsz ho for going to mass with me sometimes. haha.

sigh! yes this is one problem in my life. but actually never mind. not that bad...

oh shit! havent study today. yeah yeah whatever. not gonna complain.

hahahahhaha! acjc's trombone sectional leader just smsed me! oh my! hahaha. feeling welcomed and all. i wish i can enter!!!!!!!! anyway i went to each jc's band booth and wrote my name in all the forms. haha. they ask one lah. acjc one very nice. ask you how many years experienced. and your post. hahahaha. can show off a bit. okay. yeah. haha.

may the light of day light your way.

last day of school!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally i'm online and blogging. but nobody's here! no sean. no laa. sigh. anyway today was kinda........ sad. yeah.. last day of school. our class is quite bonded i guess.. mr siah played a song for us. and then we took photos. haha. seriously look forward to graduation night. hope everyone will turn up. haha. it will be great. hahaha. the invitation card. "let's boogie the night away!". hahahahha. hope that it will really be a crazy night.

and then after that... went down to first floor there. then saw my beloved juniors!!!!!!!!!! it's also sorta last time i'm gonna see them. but i'll come back. after o's. i miss them. i miss band. i miss playing trombone.. so so so so so much. haha. deyong is the best! after that, mathangi, laa, jx and me went to bukit panjang plaza. we've been going there everyday this week. study at mac there. is nice and able to study. so that's good. we also played cards after studying. reward. hahaha.

today also had geog mock exam. then teachers giving some talk. mdm yaw talked about chem prac. mr quek talked about physics prac. mr latiff talked about english and some other stuffs. the teachers are really nice and wonderful. how are we suppose to show our gratitude?

really love them.

and my friends.

feel so sad... leaving each other.

so we had our mock exams during the past 2 weeks. i did alright. although quite slack.

and next 2 weeks study break... then o's. next tuesday got chem prac. then thursday physics prac. all the best people.

so it's 1 more month to hols........ and it's really party time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ajc, sajc.

hey.

my blog is kinda dead. haha.

today we went to two open houses. mathangi, hweeting, syafiq and me. haha. was fun going with them. suppose to be whole class go. or something like that. but all last minute back out. yen yen enchun and kaiyun also went. we went to anderson jc first. it's at yio chu kang. drop off walk abit. quite direct i guess. haha. and it's alright. looks old again. and their band is attractive. unlike cjc's. haha. and... they concentrate so so so so so much on studies. cca only small part. cut off point after o's 8. haha. i can forget it.

i love odac!

and then after that.. we went to harbour front.. to eat. jia xin and made a vow. not to eat fast food for 2 weeks. if not will do badly for o's... haha.. just 2 more days. then i can eat already. quite hard to ta han actually. ate at foodcourt. then went to st andrew's junior college. we travelled quite a lot. mrt. change here change there. then chatted. nice. sajc need to go harbour front. then take bus. or 188. haha. but then after they move. so far. and their new school look so nice! saw the model. so big. haha. i want!! but i dont think so also.. cut off the most also 11. sigh... band didnt get to listen to them. but obviously must be so rockable. syf gold with honours. or how you spell it. we spent little time in sajc. wasted. haha. then our tour guide. gunalan. nice guy. haha.

home. slept. ate dinner. no one's at home. watched tv. never study. oh my god. where the hell my dad go?

soooooooooooooooo after next saturday's acjc open house. i'll decide. but o's.. kinda scared. scared cannot maintain. and i'm not really doing any work now. not enough. slow. my plan was to study ss and bio this week. but what did i achieve? bio alright did 3 papers. ss one chapter. sigh! left tomorrow. haha. next week still got mock exams. never study. i'm dead. dead. dead.

just now was writing in yenyen's autograph book. then thinking of what will happen after o's. graduation night surely gonna be fun and emotional. then after that? everyone go their separate ways? i just hope all those friendships wont end. and there are things that i wanna say to some people before parting. hahahhaaha. sadly these things will never be said.

and also the teachers i love them! mr latiff. mrs lim. mdm yaw. mr quek. mdm jayanthi. miss diana. miss lim! miss ngiam! mr goh!

and also miss chiew, mr danny. haha. so many wonderful teachers. of course the only way to thank them is to get good results and all that. i hope i can.

my class. laa jx melvin. all rocks. rocks. rocks.

k.. i better go study bio.

i love you. whoever's reading this. haha.

catholic jc

heya.

hahaa. today went to cjc's open house. with nadia and jiaxin and jia xin's friend, benjamin.

i dont know man...

but it's alright i guess.. like the people there. like the principal. like the school spirit. like the fact that i can choose the subjects i want. good that i have a straight bus there. like it because my good friends wanna go there. like the toilets.

oh my god. that's it?? now what i dont like. the band. the school's appearance. old. haha. the running track.

jjc. seems a little better. except for the band. and it doesnt offer KI.

i dont know!!! sigh.

we'll see.. still got acjc and sajc open house.

aiya. anyway.. no need to worry about these stupid stuffs. concentrate on o's first.

it's all the same.

soooooooooooooooooooo... after the open house. went to west mall with jiaxin. ate at cofffee bean. then went to play arcade. fun. hahaha. then went home. jogged with dad. 8 rounds!! hahaha. 3.2km. only anyway..

shit havent study!!!! later.. i love star movies and hbo and animal planet. hahaha.. distracting me.

okay. off now.

small little ships set sailing.

time to reflect. haha. today was the last day of lessons with our teachers. greeted everyone of them goodbye. and mrquek was quite sweet to play a song for us. forgot the title. but that song by diana ross.

dont lose your way
with each passing day
we've come so far
dont throw it away
..........
.........
if we hold on together
i know i'll dreams will never die
dreams see us through till forever
as clouds roll by
for you and i.

hahaha.. part of the song.

then.... after school saw mr quek in the canteen. asked him about JCs.. his ex students were also there.. then talked about those stuff. factors to consider... what to do now till o's.. haha..

acjc

or

cjc.

i dont know.

but tomorrow got cjc open house. so we'll check it out.

haha.. then.. next 2 weeks mock exams. and then another 2 weeks study break.

o's. another 2 weeks.

so it's like just 6 weeks to freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my god.. so near yet so far. hahahah..

and was thinking about the past 4 years. 4 years. of sec sch life. and soon we're moving on to the next stage.

haha.. also dont want to say much about it.

just some feelings.

bye!

Praise the Lord.

this week has been great. didnt really study or what.. mostly going out with my BELOVED friends.. let me think.. tuesday... oh ya!!! jiaxin laa and me went to orchard to get melvin's present. we walked a lot.. got a shirt for him. haha. and also went to little india to get those tickets.. but sold out.. so laa cried out loud. but it was alright. visited my mum too who rocked as usual. hahahah. okay okay i remember. before going to orchard we went up to the library to see someone and also teach kerby some stuffs. and that is also the day laa fell in love with somebody. hahahaha. in school we were like looking out for him every now and then. hahah. i seriously admire him.... but oh well. get over it. hahahha. at least i know what kind of guy i'm looking for. hahaha. seriously!

then wednesday.. after school laa and jiaxin went for their excursion thing. lucky them! the TAs followed them! so i went home and slacked and slept. thursday.. melvin's birthday! we didnt get to spend it with him. but we're still okay and talking. so that's fine. after school went home. lessons ended at 4.30. we got back most of the results!!! and i am glad. because i managed to get 6 As. but mostly A2s.. hahaha.. yay!!!!!!!!! L1R5 12 points. i do get to go to a good JC. what i want is acjc. but i dunno. i just love it's band!!!! haha. yeah.

then yesterday was good too! after school went for excursion. botanic gardens. orchid garden. hahaha.. nice. with my rockable class!! a lot of teasing. arun and me. lame and all that. pairing everyone up. took pictures.. nice! and that after that went to meet laa jia xin and melvin.. with nadia.. at orchard.

and i didnt expect it! they actually bought that blouse for me!!!!!! the one that i liked. hahahaha. oh my god!!!! i was really touched. and happy. plus that ultra super duper sweet note. oh my....................... if you all are reading this.. i just wanna tell you i really love you all very much!!! and i thank god for blessing me with such wonderful people. haha!

and sean too!

so we stayed in orchard.. nadia left. we decided to go to esplanade. that dancing area. we bought cup noodles to eat. sat down at one corner. ate. talked. played cards. watched people dance and skate. to that girl who danced and smoked at the same time, you're not freaking cool okay. it's disgusting. played until 9 plus.. then home. i bathed.. slept. until 1230 today.. hahaha. freaking pig. so lazy.

hahahha.. happiness in me now.

back to work!