oooooooooooo laa laa.

hahaha. it has been long.

hahahhaha. oh well. whats up?

trying to get back on track. STILL. but should be much better now.

hahahhahaha. also dunno what to type here.

anyway next week got odac camp! sounds exciting. and my group is quite nice. we just have to know each other more. and then..... got lots of stuff to freaking pack. oh god. first thing, 3 1.5 litres bottle. thats gonna take up half the space. and other craps. haha.

oh my god.. odac.. seems tough. to get in. to stay inside. to whatever. but anyway... urgh.. dunno..

and then.. now got freaking so much work to do.. and PI is shit.

plus piano.. really getting harder. i suck. no time to practise either??

and then.. i'm so not a good catholic. takes effort too.

plus other teeny weeny problems.

oh shut up richalynn. dont act like i have a tough life.

hahahha. dont care.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! awesomeness. but i can only look and admire. and i'm satisfied this way. lol.

one step at a time.

stay positive.

stand by me.

sigh.... confusion.

and it's not going to get any better.


argh. why are all my post so....................... depressing. haha.

let me just talk about something else.

today, alumni band prac! loving it! hahahaha. but it's making me so so so so so regret that i didnt join sa band. but it's alright! shumin came too.. hahha. played the same old songs.. plus the last piece. so fun! anyway jx had to go off early.. hockey huh girl. then went for lunch with shumin.. fadly, peiling and steph. heard new stuffs about the band now. and now deyong, my junior, my beloved junior, most loved by me, is like so high up there now. ex co of the prefectorial board.. KINDA not slow now then i know. shit. haha. anyway good for him!! hahaha. hope to see him soon. miss him man... lol. then went home with fadly. rocks.

i'm like suppose to do PI now!!!!! fuck.

i love being vulgar!

haha.

anyway monday, hmm. hmm. hmm. endurance run. i passed! i ran like constantly all the way! actually not. last many rounds i slowed down at the curves. and speed at the straight lanes. so happy i did it.

and tuesday to friday. i really dont remember what happened. just that.. in school. the campaigning of the nominees for house comm members. cheryl! hahahaha. congrats to her. and then.. yesterday. some tv crew came to our gp class. some show about gp.. and interviewed our indian friends. haha. plus mrs muru. quite an experience.

i love jing yu and jowy. funniest ever. haha.

okay. that's about it.

hehehhehe angel and mortal. i so wish. but it'll never be true.

what the hellllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

relax.

get.a.grip.man.

oh man this is sooooooooooooooo sad.

sigh! what a life.

anyway. things got better.

yeah... life concert last night! was great! jia xin came too. didnt get to sit with mel they all. soooo was with jx.. had a nice time. singing and stuff. was moved actually.

anyway today.. ODAC was fun. lol. had field cooking. and my group won! so cool! haha. and our cheer is so crappish. funny! haha. and then... odac.. quite scary... but will be fun i guess.

try my best!

and i really need to do something.

oh God help me.

and i'm suppose to do PI now.

total shit.

and yeah i know, stop looking.

it gets irritating.

haha.

life sucks.

but why life sucks?

rain clouds come to play.

LOL. first good news of the month! i got distinction for piano exam!!! 133/150. hahahahhaa. BUT. it's only grade 2. so nothing wow. hahaha.

but well! it's still an accomplishment! a push-factor!

i love the piano!

anyway.................................... ahaha. xue fen had her match today. and heard they won every game. oh my. she must have rocked! just now in hall look at her play already quite erm... impressed? charmed? attracted? lol. no la. dunno la. she's so cool. xuefen are you reading this i'm falling in love with you.

haha.

and today was fine. thank the Lord. it was much better. i felt better i guess.. and today when reaching home.. came out of the lift and saw the sky. OH MY GOSH. a freaking beautiful sunset. it was really a "yu guo tian qing". yeah so i admired it for a while. haha. suddenly missed the days when i come home and get to see the awesome sky almost everyday. aaaaaaahhhhh.... sunsets. they better not build anything to block that whole area.

and then yeah.. normal lectures. and stuff.

sigh nothing much.

cheer up!

accept it!

this is shit isnt it.

raining now and it feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels so good. how i wish i could just go out and run in the rain to no where.

but of course, that's only in dramas.

anyway...... FINALLY the freaking week is over. i've not been enjoying. no no no no. sucks. sucks. sucks. i want to go back to sec sch!

okay that is silly. one must learn to adapt.

argh!

i've been worrying about cca. i thought i could happily join touch rugby. but i realised NO. i cannot. i just dont enjoy myself there. the day always ends up depressingly. so i was thinking like crazy. wanted to join band. but what the hell they have practices on saturdays from 9 to 4. i dont mind that, BUT it clashes with my alumni band.. i dont think i will want to sacrifice that. especially when people i love are there. so no band. SIGH. i would really love to join. but oh well. so i thought of track and field. and then today i went for ODAC's briefing... it was alright................... the good thing is that we get to do a lot of activities like rock climbing, kayaking, night cycling etc. learn outdoor skills, first aid. have camps. overseas trip. AND TO MOUNT KINABALU THIS JUNE. (melvin i'm thinking of you and laughing) haha. my dream since sec 1. and to nepal end of this year. but the thing is, from now till june is the selection period. so we have to be super good students, with commitment, initiative, and the other 2 i forgot already. haha. anyway and there's lots of planning and organising and writing of proposals.. it's quite scary... and even more when i have not been in any leadership position before. this sucks. i suck. sigh. but hey come on look at the bright side. this is a great chance!!!! for me to GROW. and stop hiding in my shell. BE CONFIDENT. yeah. my biggest problem in my life. SIGH.

SO, yeah. set. ODAC.

so... problem number 1 solved.

2nd problem is.... something that i shouldnt say in here.

and then studies and all that crap. should be quite alright. i quite like my tutors. and my class is great.

it's so hard to settle down.

i feel so restricted. maybe cause i worry too much. i think too much. i read too much into things.

things are just FINE. fine. FINE.

nothing is wrong.

haha.

sigh

fuck.

feeling like shit now. sigh.

i

feel

damn

neglected.

what is so wrong?

with me?

with you?

been telling, reminding, trying.












it's just not where i belong.

so leave? or try harder.




solution: dont give a shit.

depression

haha.. okay here goes.

Instructions: The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Specify the gender of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.

lol.

gender: male.

so..

number 1. sporty. yeah..

2. musically inclined. best is play piano!!

3. pleasant looking?? haha. i actually am quite attracted to nerdy-cute kind. haha. cool. tall. tanned. etc.

4. funny. very on type one.. i dont care if you're vulgar or not. mature. bla.

5. generous.

6. of course you have to love me the way i am. haha.

7. romantic yeah.. small gestures can already. lol.

8. lol. clean.

okay.

quite crappy.

gonna watch american idol now.

bye!

what a blast!

this is the most fun march holidays i ever had in my life! i think. haha.

the only regret i have is...... i didnt study at all. not one bit.

anyway i had a whole lot of fun! spent it with many people. BMS. pri sch friends. jc friends. mummy and charlynn.

made me realise that.. there are actually a lot a lot a lot of nice people around. and i should really not get into depression over.. some stupid things.

anyway... monday... i forgot what i did. haha. guess i stayed home or something. aiya.

then tuesday. went to escape with mel, darren, xuefen, linus. hahhahaha. was real nice. having spent time with them. hahahaha. love you all! we tried most of the rides.. not any thrilling enough. but i love the viking one.. hahahhaa. can really feel the g-force thing. you know the ticklish feeling in your tummy. hahahahaha! so shuang! and some others... quite alright.. plus the haunted house total bullshit. haha. then we went to orchard while xuefen went ice skating. haha. ate and stuff. arcade, visited my mum. played pool. i also met sean, jia xin , melvin and sean's friends.. haha. yeah. then... i went to my mum's place to stay over. spent the whole of wednesday in her house. with charlynn. whole day watched movies. cartoons. little mermaid, hercules, shrek. hahhahahaha. quite nice... then went home at night.

thursday. CG outing! to sentosa. was great! we just erm... played in the sea. played captain's ball, soccer... yeah.. love the sun! and i freaking fell from a tree. wanted to climb onto the rock.. then slipped and fell. hahahaha. knocked my backbone on the trunk. could have been paralyzed lol. anyway. yeah.. we went from palawan beach to siloso beach. i was buried for a moment too! damn hot and tight. and some of them lol! shaped big breasts for me. ahhahaha. kinda lame.. but anyway. love them so!!! haha. at night went to meet some of my OG 20 friends.. alwin, casper, jazreel, hakim, ming li, cheryl, kee wei and me. yeah 8 of us only. so called OG outing. haha. played pool, ate and chit chatted in BK. was alright. just hope we could be more bonded. really nice and funny people. then home.

friday, hahahahhaha sentosa again!!!! this time with primary school friends. was totally fun. really really really love love love and treasure this group of people. i mean, we are still meeting up after 4 years of leading different lives and stuff. haha. must really thank people like alan, gladys, jocelyn.. hahaha. the organisers. and the rest of us who love each other and are so ready to meet up any time. hahahaha. wanna name them. haha. alan, gladys, jocelyn, yvonne, hongyi, mingjie, tian bee, weixing, cat, karen etc. and of course the whole of 6.1. always remembered.
anyway, we played in the sea most of the time. and other ball games like touch rugby, volleyball, captains ball, frisbee, soccer?? haha. yeah.. also met some of hongyi's classmates. all smarties. HC people. yeah. chatted a lot. tanned. i'm like super dark now. haha. but i like it! lol. then we went to cine for dinner. kobayashi or something like that. then took neoprints. home. i fell down again. hahahha. this time into a drain. my whole right leg sank into the gap somewhere at the drain there. soooo paiseh if people saw. haha. i'm getting clumsier. sigh.

today... sean's birthday. hahhaa. so sad i missed alumni band prac! woke up late. and then too lazy to go already. sigh! then met melvin jia xin and birthday boy at jurong east. went to town. we watched movie and took neoprints. V for vendetta! oh my god i love that show! although it's quite hard to understand but some sort i did. haha. V is really............................. urgh. attractive. the way he speaks and moves. haha. mysterious ways are dieable. then we met kevin, clarice and joel. had dinner together at NYDC. ate icecream. walked around. then home... quite sian for a birthday. so sorry sean! feel quite bad.

haha! so that's my week. last day tomorrow. gonna go church and meet up with tian bee for a movie. then school reopens! oh my! work time! no more play. hahahaha. prioritise! A's is your biggest problem now. no love, no crush, no no no no no no. hhahaha. concentrate on friends, studies, cca, and everything except worrying about "love" and whatever.

what the heck am i talking about man..... just! aiya. make the best out of everything!

sajc rocks!

accept, let go, move on.

i wasted the whole sunday sleeping!

haha. anyway yesterday was totally great. first i had my music theory exam.. which was alright.. i guess that's a merit for me there. haha. then went with my dad to do some stuffs.. went home.. watched tv.. slept.. at night went for alumni band! which rocked as usual.. then stayed over in school. as they had camps and stuff.. so i hung around.. with mathangi, syafiq, daniel, fadly, casper etc.. some of the rest came too.. mathangi went home.. then left syafiq fadly and daniel and me.. we sat around at the fitness corner there.. basketball court there.. bench there.. telling ghost stories and playing cards.. hahahhaa. was quite fun.. relaxing and stuff. but i wasnt freaked out luckily.. i'm so brave! lol. we also looked at stars. hahahahhaa. so nice. then i couldnt take it anymore at 5 plus and slept a while.. at the bench then in the band room. haha. woke up at 7 plus... then went for breakfast with daniel, fadly and libin.. played basketball! haha. then went home.. met sean and he came to my house.. played piano while i fell asleep and totally left him alone.. hahaha. so sorry!

yep, so i had a good good good good good time. i so miss my sec sch friends.

so march holidays... i'm suppose to revise my work and prepare for term 2.. but seems like i'm not gonna have time for it. haahaha. think only wednesday and sunday free. got a few gatherings and stuff. haha! exciting!!!

sigh term 2... must really prepare for a whole lot of shit.

reality check.

heya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahhaa. i'm kinda excited now... cause so many great things have happened. and thank God for this wonderful week!

first it was orientation 2. SAINTALDEIA! i was in OG 20. which is quite rockable. quite on. and i had fun! cheering and playing the games. oh man!!!!! i miss the times! and disco night last night. also rocked! aaaaahhhhh just love to let myself go and shout and scream and do whatever i want. hai. anyway yeah. OG 20 rocks!!!!!! definitely will treasure the friends i've made. miss them! haha. and my tribe IVANA won 3rd prize!!!! was totally shocked. cause we are supposedly the softest in cheering. and smallest tribe. hahahahahhaha. so happy! i so wanna talk about every single thing that happened.. but nah... too much. well, highlights: every game. disco night. og dinner. cheering. me going on stage with the "longest" hair. soooo embarrassing! hahahahhaha. induction. decorating the banner. awesome OGLs. boon kiat and yuan ling!!! and never forgetting mayhwee and wee keat. haha. all of them!

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. dunno how many thanks and likings i wanna express to all my friends.

and then today... back to normal school day. got into our CGs already.. i'm in 06S21! got cheryl, ain and nizhen. and some of them i know already.. and the rest.. well... later! after march hols. haha. gotta love them cause we're gonna have hell of a lot of time to spend together.

anyway!!!! just now... mel, darren, linus and i went out together. XUE FEN SHOULD HAVE COME. haha. yeah.. we went to kovan to bowl but no lanes available. then went to mel's house. hahaha. played badminton. with freaking wind. so not successful. then went to junction 8 for dinner. yep and 4 of us had a nice chat, i guess. hahahaha.

i'm just gonna accept things. and not try too hard to insist otherwise.

yeah... so just let it be!

you know.......... asking God to grant me the courage to accept the things i cannot change.

haha.

kinda not depressing man! first time this kinda shit happen to me. i'm not some stalker or desperate-for-you-girl!

so yeah! forget it!

lesson learnt fullstop

gotta lighten up. nothing to worry. no no to perfection.

sajc!

hahahhahaha. hello!!!!! i'm so happy now! cause i'm in sajc. i think i'll like my og. and ming li is in the same og with me!!!!! hahahahaha. i mean.. we're kinda good friends before. and now we're in the same school and all that!! hope our friendship continues to blossom!!! hhahhahaa. okay. damn happy. and a few from og 14 now also same og. that's great! hope next week will be a great great one. haha. and then.. some people also leaving sajc.. like ming wei.. ze feng.. maziah.. thiam chai.. tracy.. etc.. will miss them so!!! have to make sure our friendships dont just end here. all the best to them.

hahahhaha. anyway first 3 months.. wanna talk about it a little. it was.. actually okay. not that very great or exciting. but the friends i made and people i met, i love them so!!!!!!! and i wanna thank them for their friendships. people from OG 14. 06S16. touch rugby. and others who i know through friends and stuff. haha!

although i wasnt the most vocal everywhere i go... but.. yeah.. i really enjoyed every moment in school. and the most kind teachers. and touch rugby which is so fun. and also playing basketball during almost every break. haha. eating with the class. sitting at the fitness corner there.. and that one last week of exciting things with my class!!!!! made me really really lucky and glad that i'm in this class. haha. enjoyed the bbq night. and the walks and chats and plays. plus listening to a few of them talking about God. was totally... i dunno. felt guilty actually. like it was a reminder. yeah..

anyway today went for alumni band. which totally rocks as well. love playing!!!!!! my trombone. and playing in a band. BBSS alumni band all the way!!!!!!!!!

loving my life now. hahahaha. looking forward to stuffs. 2 years in sajc!!!

anyway stuffs to settle before term 2 starts. haha.

studies.......................................
buy uniform.
buy bag.
do something to my hair. lol.
be more confident!
do not judge/hate people.
treasure every moment.
and dont hide.
dont run.
be brave.


hahahaha.. whatever.... anyway music theory exam coming..

haha. okay.