block fucking test 2 is finally over. haha. it was depressing, disastrous, demoralising. sigh. SIGH. everything sucked and the only paper i feel confident of passing is probably bio paper 1? forget it. move on. work harder next time.

so... i want to watch die hard. and i want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. body clock screwed since holidays and ever since i have difficulties sleeping. have been sleeping at 4 and 5 am in the mornings. hai. and the days ahead are... a bloody routine. i'm gonna start hardcore studying soon. like sunday. hopefully. all planned out. cant afford to waste any more time. 2 months left to prelims. 2 months to revise evey goddamn thing. but, really look forward to later. kbox with yumin and friends!!! haha. and minqi's green thing. and rmb. and pri sch birthday gathering. and farewell party. and rapture? thankfully for these things, there is some life in my life. sigh.

piano teacher cancelled lesson again. =( come on, dont lose the passion.

gonna rest, slack, tv!!

shawshank redemption, DAMN GOOD MOVIE!!!

and i still miss sabah ALOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

i'm gonna fail.................................... argh. fuck la. i did study, maybe not hard enough. and all the papers so far, so bloody tough. gonna get triple Us. gonna feel so great after that. she bloody showed us the normal progressions of our seniors from bt1 to A's, and said no way we can make big leaps unless "you're really that special". thank you very much and shut up.

but. sigh. i'll study. 4 months left. less com, less tv.

18 years old. really the TIME of our lives.

i really miss the times spent with

and

and




i miss everything.

free from reality.

...

fake thoughts.

things said and done just to fit the big picture, and make everything seem pretty and pleasant.

is that it?

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Time Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

well well... this week, i've studied quite abit, i think. i skipped chem and maths mock. chem was not on purpose. sigh. its like i'm just floating around, doing what i'm suppose to do, with no meaning whatsoever. back to this shit feeling again. haha. anyway... let me recall the past few days.. jogging with dearest cheryl in the morning at jurong west stadium. meeting up with JURONG to play basketball. studying alone at jurong east library. and then overnight study with xiu, cheryl and ziyi, which totally didnt work for me. brain block after 2am. got back home to sleep at 6am. and then study with tianbee next day. at jurong east library. arcade at night. wednesday, odac dinner! hahaha. at seoul garden in marina square. it was pretty alright. nice food, lots of photos. met sean after that!! and elina too. i think thats the best thing that happened this week. we caught up quite abit. and walked from esplanade to town... just felt so good finally seeing him again. anyway... sigh. hahah thursday, studying with matt and ben! it was a first. as usual we were all late, and tried national library. but no. and then went to some hdb block nearby, and studied at a study corner over there. ahahahha weirdest place to study. but it was quite good. dinner at bugis food village, 1 hour study at national library, and taking pictures again. yesterday... stayed home to study. actually not bad, i mentioned "study" quite a few times. life now should be: four walls, table and chair, radio, and all the study shit. and one week left, bio and geog untouched. i dunno... feel so scared now. 4 months left to A's. should have started revising like 3 months ago... but never mind. look forward. treasure all the remaining seconds left. think of my target, think of my dream, think of all the things i wanna do after A levels, think of leaving the hall next year smiling, heaving big sighs of relief. i still miss that place, that river.RMB! =D

seanie.

lock the doors.
we'll leave the world outside.
just you and me.















cant wait to return.

saints odac 0607

i really enjoyed hanging out with xiu, jason, ziyi and erkimwee.blogspot.com in xiu's house... watching movies and getting drunk. maybe not. hahah. but we were sleepy and xiu and jason were like saying some lame nonsense like they were drunk. but quite funny la. hahah. we watched just follow law. and then one by one, we fell asleep in the middle of the show, leaving jason alone in the end, laughing by himself. damn joke can! was sooooo funny when i woke up for a moment and i saw that scene: jason sitting up and LOL-ing all by himself at the show in the middle of all of us, all lying down, dead asleep. haha. anyway after that, 3am, we watched apocalypto. xiu, jason and me. but i died halfway. we slept till 8 am next day. had macs breakfast. watched blood diamond with bloody screwed up subtitles, which totally spoiled the show. so forget it. we left xiu's house at 11. and.. i got home. slept till 7. omg... so i wasted one whole sunday.

haha, so. LTC 2007. was another success. and really thank you very much to the taskforce, jason and xiu, for all their efforts before and during the camp. everyone did their part so well. especially the advisors and group leaders. i guess the J1s really learnt a lot, and looks up to them. my role during the camp... was being a station master, a log-er and holding PT sessions. haha. and during the camp had many last minute roles to play. like replacing absent J1s for their games, and being a climber in the belay school. was part of "the others" too. 9 of us. hahaha, but we were happy doing our background jobs together. i should just slap myself for being so narrow-minded during the first day. shut up richalynn. oh well. anyway, unlike the advisors and group leaders, i had minimal interaction with the J1s. which is quite sad. except during the campfire, got to dance with some of them during the friendship dance. the campfire was awesome!!! i really enjoyed it a lot. the fire was goooood, and great emcees( weihao and serene!), and pro guitarists (yuda, ziyi and weihao!!!). some funny skits by J1s. and the last part when all of us J2s gathered in front of the J1s and sang "at the beginning" for everyone. 24 of us, full strength. felt really touched, and hopefully we touched the J1s too. we huddled together and shouted "FULL STRENGTH!" how loud and full it sound. and that group hug after that. cant describe how i felt but it was the happiest moment. it is the happiest moment. keep the odac flame burning brightly ever.

it's not over yet. there is still egg auction i hope. really really hope. and there's J2 farewell. and it will never be over. deep in our hearts we share a memory, a family, somewhere we can call home.

the odac journey has been a long long one. and i will miss every single part of it. from being a junior, to being left alone and planning our own activities for ourselves, to being a senior. so many things happened, so many things discovered, so many things learnt. making up the bulk of JC life, odac has brought endless joy, has made me grown the most in my life. and i'm really really thankful. sometimes in life last minute decisions are the best decisions one can ever make. and i'm thankful for that. thank you all the odac teachers, mr lam for being a role model, an inspiring teacher, a very sensible and great leader to us. thank you seniors for all the knowledge and fun activities you have brought to us, and the very memorable oec and ltc and climb up mt ophir. thank you fellow odacers for everything. from day 1 until... for all the joy, help, encouragement, support, fun, company and friendship... for helping me grow as a person. for making life in odac exciting. for sustaining my faith in odac. for being so funny and fun-loving people. for all the dinners and chilling sessions. for all the strengths in you that i so admire and wanna learn from. for so so SO many other things from every single one of you. i could just list everything one by one. but i'll leave that to next time. and also, thank you juniors. i'm really thankful that our paths crossed. thankful to have known yet another fun bunch of people. and i really enjoyed having PT sessions with you all. haha. really hope that J1/J2 dinner will happen soon!!! sigh. and just thank you ODAC itself, for exposing me to the outdoor activities, rockclimbing, the water sports, running, trekking, cycling, mountain climbing... proposal writing.. station mastering, facilitating, dry-running... all these, that brought a whole new world to me. a world that i love tremendously. made me discover things about myself. my strengths.. where and what i truly enjoy... stuffs that could aid me in the future. its just SO MUCH that odac has brought into my life, making it so painful to let go. making you think what's next...

i'm just gonna look back at all that has happened right now.

i miss sabah... i miss kinabatangan river... i miss bilit adventure lodge... i miss aloy... i miss the ox-bow lake... i miss the long house... i miss the guides...

okay enough. back to reality in singapore. =(

back to ltc, back to studies, back to A levels.

i want to get out of here. i want to see the world. i want to meet real, happy people.

step in lodge

night market

grace and me at the river village.

west coast of sabah

kota kinabalu town.

post modern building.

at the post modern building.

my skills.

kinabalu park

miss seow and me at the garden

grace and me at the rose garden!

outside long house.

inside long house.

inside longhouse rooms!

on the lorry...

where my phone fell.

sabah tea plantation.

after which there goes my phone on the 3rd day.

sabah, land below the wind.

hellooooo i'm back from sabah after 6 days which flew past so quickly. SIGH. i was really feeling damn sad when it was time to leave the place.. anyway, the whole trip was really enjoyable and i have no regrets going. i feel like i should live in that kind of area la, because i totally love it! especially envy the lifestyles people have there. those that live in the water village. and those orang sungei (water people). they just live by the river and in the forests. simple lives, yet happy people. and i really like it there! wildlife and nature. this trip sorta inspired even more, about what i wanna do in my life. what kind of job that i want. but the problem is, where to start? i am going to miss sabah a lot a lot a lot. and i MUST go back there somehow. a lot of things happened during the trip, and i've written everything in my journal... so i'm just gonna talk about the more memorable things. anyway we arrived in kota kinabalu, the sorta capital of sabah, and every night we stayed in different places. from lodges to longhouses to resorts. the best places were the LONG HOUSE AT SABAH TEA, and BILIT ADVENTURE LODGE ALONG KINABATANGAN RIVER. so at sabah tea, we were on our way to the river to play and do field work. and we rode on a lorry! with chairs at the back, but all of us stood up and just enjoyed the BEAUTIFUL scenery of tea plantations, the breeze, and the lorry went up slope... and down slope.. around the tea plantations. DAMN SHIOK. anyway, it was a jerky ride all the way, and one sudden big jerk, my phone flew out of my hands, out of the lorry, onto the ground, and one of the wheels rolled over it. WOW. so my phone now is like flattened. but the joke is despite the heavy damage i still can pick up calls and still can vibrate. all of us were LOL-ing when we found out. so thank god sim card and memory card unhurt. okay that was the first thing. next few are like damn fun and enjoyable. i got bitten by 3 leeches. hahahah during the night walk in the forest. first time in my life. and bloody first bite was on my back! all of us wore long pants and long sleeves, but somehow it got up onto my back. totally freaked out when i felt it. thin and soft. anyway i showed miss seow and grace, and the guide helped me remove it. hahaha. damn sick la leeches, the way they crawl and everything. and who said you cant feel leeches. its either itchy or painful when they bite. hahah. so.. during the nightwalk, we saw quite a few creatures. spiders, giant milipedes that rolled up into cute colourful balls, frogs, a bat, tractorpillars? a kingfisher... and some weird plants, and many leeches. tiger leeches. stripes on them. quite cute la. but the way they survive, omg nobody likes them. hahah. anyway this night walk happened at bilit adventure lodge, my favourite! its like along kinabatangan river and in a forest. we did river cruise there. damn shiok too. nice view, nice breeze, nice boat, nice guide, ALOY!!!! he's like the BEST guide throughout our whole trip. during the river cruise we saw in the forests, an orang utan! high above on the tree. and also proboscis monkeys, only found in that part of malaysia. also long tailed macaques, storks, a green viper sleeping, and another black and yellow snake also sleeping on the branches of the trees hanging above the waters. we saw most of them close up from out boats. its really WILDLIFE. damn cool. okay another highlight was the ox-bow lake! we trekked through the forest and reached this lake. there was a little hut and some steps leading to a floating platform. some of us got onto it, and fed ikan bilis with rice grains. haha. i managed to catch one ikan bilis. lol. there were swarms and swarms of them. it was quite fun. then aloy the guide told us to go for a swim. hahahahhaha and just on the spur of the moment, we went into the lake!!! it was damn nice!!!!!!! anyway only like some of us went in with the guides. miss seow, grace, cheryl, nicolette, linus and eugene. hahah. damn fun. and it was a clay bed in the river. aloy was damn funny. we masked out faces with the clay, had clay fights, made different hairstyles with clay for each other, swam across the lake, shouted and made noises with clear echoes, soaked in the sun, stood in one circle and did the holding breath thing...... it was just pure fun and great company. this trip, i did a lot of first time things. going into a real river, leech bites, real wildlife, going into a clay lake, lorry ride... i'm gonna miss this a lot. really wonderful memories. other stuffs that happened were visiting water villages, man-made sulphur hotsprings, tree top canopy walk, hours of travel from one place to another, visiting the sepilok orang utan rehabilitation centre, the gomantong limestone caves, city tours, a garden, looking at mount kinabalu, firefiles, luminous mushrooms, a lot of stars, good food, the debrief sessions, spotting crocs along river banks... still miss the river the most. with the nicest guides over there. especially aloy! he shared with us so many things, and was so happy-go-lucky person. so nice that he stayed up with us to spot crocs and looking at the river in the middle of the night. dunno how to describe that scenery, the fog, river and the forests... spooky, peaceful, romantic, quiet... sigh. i wanna live a life by the river la.. so simple, happy, and waking up every morning not knowing what to expect. this trip is one of the highlights of my life so far. so inspiring!!! and 13 of us got to know each other better as the days went by. i think we're one fun bunch! different characters, arts and science, H1 and h2s coming together. hahah. really enjoyed hanging out and sleeping together with miss seow and grace. WE'RE THE MAN! hahah. also got to discover things about myself, both good and bad... so meaningful. at least our paths crossed. at least there is the memory. i'll miss this so so much.