i've been thinking a lot about what i wanna do after A's. and i think i'll be so damn happy after the last paper. i wanna read lots of books, play tales of symphonia, resident evil, and all the games i have in game cube, i wanna go cyling at pulau ubin, i wanna go to all the places in singapore i've not been to in a long time. i wanna catch up with all the people that i miss a lot. i wanna go back and play in alumni band. i wanna go overseas, wherever. I WANNA GO BACK TO SABAH. sigh. i wanna clean my room, and the house. i wanna learn cooking. i wanna work in the zoo. i wanna play lots of piano. i wanna have a nice family christmas, i wanna see the lights again. i wanna watch all the movies that i like and that i've missed. wanna watch oc, nip tuck, prison break, and all of it. i wanna climb mountains. i just want A's to be over soon. now.

but. wanna enjoy all that. its best that i suffer now. just 6 more weeks. shut myself off from all play. study. prepare. and just 8 days of papers. i must work hard! i am larger than A levels! i'll kill it! STUDY, PRAY, OWN!

i'll be there for you

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love it's suicide

You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday

And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you


And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

yesterday was one full of SHIT day. sigh. and i decided, forget it i need a break. i cant carry on like that. i cant concentrate, and your bloody presence just makes me feel like dropping everything and leave. argh! just one of those days when i feel like suddenly i have no friends in the world. fuck! sigh. so i reached home at around 5, and relaxed on the sofa with the tv, and my cat on me. slept until 1 today. what a waste. and i still feel no better now, with this transparent barrier between me and the notes.

first was piano lesson. i totally sucked. never mind that.

and then comment number 1,

2

and

3.

if thats really the case, till then.







and i'm not suppose to feel unhappy in the midst of prelims.

never mind. forget everything. clear my mind. pray.

i must do well for prelims.

okay good. one day left to prelims. cheer hip hip hooray you're one step closer to the end.

dp should give more talks like these to us, cause she's really good at it. unlike....... urgh, please.

never never give up.

haha.

anyway. really hope all that studying can up my grades for a bit. sigh. come on i just gotta think harder and deeper.

and stay over matt's house with them was fun. haha. fun studying.

KEEP GOING EVERYONE.

one f-fing week left to prelims. and i'm just gonna try my bloody best. and hope to attain Ds and above. and i believe i can do this!

haha.

this week's been good. jiawei's birthday dinner on monday. was fun! we ate in seoul garden. and... i got to know 2 friends who were from bbss and i've never talked to before. hahaha. they're damn funny. its been long since such things happen...

and a lot of times studying with sean outside. which i guess was pretty productive.

then fri mummy's birthday! party at her house. invited all her friends. so many friends! all filipinos. and they're freaking wild and open, which is great! as usual karaoke, food, dancing, craziness. hahah. very fun la. but my sisters and i.. our energy level cant level up to theirs. so most of the time we were just watching people. i shy la i'm just not the entertaining type. haha. i've got to REALLY PARTY!!!!!!!! hahah. after A's. everything after A's. haha. and then my dad came... i guess my mum's really happy. and yeah.. happy birthday mummy.

and yesterday. study with sean, and movie with sean and sis! haha. finally got to catch a movie. dead silence. not bad! soundtrack damn good. and a good ending. haha. love this kind of horror la. and then after that sean came over and we studied... till 3 plus.

sigh just 3 more months till EVERYTHING is over. last paper 22nd nov. omg cant imagine how it feels walking out of that hall and that sch for almost the last time. I CANT FREAKING WAIT. more of happy then sad.


STUDY!!!!!!

haha haha haha haha. i love this week. 5 days holiday... hopefully its gonna c... r... a...w... l... by. but when you're studying, ha.

sigh. not gonna talk about bloody studies.

not gonna say how many days weeks months left.







i dunno.

seems like there's nothing much to talk about.

except, the mr lam's farewell last sat. was pretty alright. played basketball. with some j1s and angus and kelvin. haha. FUN! and then... dinner, performances, cake cutting, presents, speech from mr lam. nothing emo. yeah.. like i said in mrlams note, odac was one heck of an experience. haha.

the making of the album was fun! the day before we went to city link to get the album and photos and stuff.. and sat down to do it. simple thing, greatly enjoyed by me, with fellow odacers. =)

last week dunno doing what also.. like got study but nvr study. sigh.

disturbia, 1408, and many other i wanna watch movies.
should i???

sacrifice, self-disciplined.

yeah yeah and see what i'm doing now.

miss you!

another week passed by so damn quickly. with learning fest taking up 2 days. it was pretty alright. went for the impressions at first sight thing. and puppetry, and comic drawing. haha. studied a little here and there. simpsons with rmb. oh yeah went back to band on wednesday! and decided to play for the concert. haha. tt feeling, dunno how to describe la. just so heartwarming. playing trombone again after so many months. plus with the juniors. =) and yeah like mr goh said, this batch's really fun! like damn noisy, but fun. hahah. i bet they're gonna go far too.

and the concert on sat! metamorphosis. it was really enjoyable. hanging around with my section. waiting for our turn to play.. talking and stuff. playing with them on stage... sigh. i so miss band. and will always miss it. something tt i really cant let go of. after A levels, revive alumni!

after tt night keep thinking back, the band times in bbss. seniors leaving, juniors coming in. then our turn to leave... sigh.

trom section over the years...

hahah..

this is great!!

i gotta study!!

i lost it halfway.

9 pointer. (not a big deal, but still..)

now nearing the end.

and still getting Us. maths U. chem U. GP U. bio S. argh. hopefully can pass geog. if not really... congratulations richalynn.

had a little chat with miss ye yesterday.

"miss ye.... am i in deep shit."

miss ye: giggles. "no la. treading shit only"

okay... sigh. and then she went on saying.. those who scored As and Bs in A levels, normally wont have such bad results in the common tests and stuff. bla bla.. and just have to put in more effort. much more.

its so hard not to think that i'm so dead for A levels. look at the results now. and see how much time i have left. how much more can be done? are As and Bs possible?

what have i gotten myself into. where was i the last one year and a half.

there is a very thin line between believing in yourself and not giving up hope, and facing reality.

and i'm really panicking now. and still blogging. what the fuck. 3 more months. just 3 more. i dont wanna walk out of hall after the last paper, hoping that i could start all over again. no. i wanna enjoy the holidays.

dont lose hope. give your all, and never give up.
impossible is nothing.
miracles do happen.
Dear God... allow me to make the big leap.

new week!! better follow my study plans.. 7 weeks left to prelims, and another month to A's. sigh. life shouldnt be about counting down, but living each day not knowing whats coming up next, making each day count. to make it count. hahah. reminds me of titanic. 3 movies in a week. die hard, harry potter, and death proof. study sessions with raine and wesley in spinelli. farewell party. and RMB studying session. LOVES! thank you J1s for the farewell. sad that there wasnt much time for us to bond better. oh wells, at least theres something, and will really miss odac. and rmb is always so exciting.

study study study.

piano piano piano.

movie movie movie.

studying has officially started. everyday after sch with raine at spinelli. hopefully this is gonna work. keep reading, keep practicing. just 4 months left. its gonna be over soon. so soon. last lap. dont give up, you dont wanna regret. as expected, did really shityly for block test 2. sigh. haiya what the fuck la. looking forward to farewell party later.. wonder how will it be like. one year ago, we did it for our seniors. and now its our turn... have we all gone through the same things? felt the same feelings?

haha.

i love studying.