FUCK THAT BASTARD WHO TOOK OUR RABBITS AWAY!!!!!!!! i'm really so angry, so worried, so sad.

its really. FUCK HIM. die die die die!!!!

seriously. why!?!?!?!??!

you really had to steal them in the middle of the night. you really had to take the cage and everything away. you really had to bloody steal RABBITS. URGH.

just like that, gone forever.

i am so sorry...

SIGH.

i should really really really snap out of this bullshit, before i drown myself in a deep pool of embarrassment.

i should really really really work like an adult.

haha.

yeah, i should really make an effort to learn something from my job. and not just slack around. hai.

hai hai hai.

looking forward to

A levels results.

vertical marathon.

hong kong trip.

learning driving.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

i've been thinking a lot about what i wanna do after A's. and i think i'll be so damn happy after the last paper. i wanna read lots of books, play tales of symphonia, resident evil, and all the games i have in game cube, i wanna go cyling at pulau ubin, i wanna go to all the places in singapore i've not been to in a long time. i wanna catch up with all the people that i miss a lot. i wanna go back and play in alumni band. i wanna go overseas, wherever. I WANNA GO BACK TO SABAH. sigh. i wanna clean my room, and the house. i wanna learn cooking. i wanna work in the zoo. i wanna play lots of piano. i wanna have a nice family christmas, i wanna see the lights again. i wanna watch all the movies that i like and that i've missed. wanna watch oc, nip tuck, prison break, and all of it. i wanna climb mountains. i just want A's to be over soon. now.

NONE accomplished.

what the hell????????? this is so disappointing. haha.

sigh.

honestly, i actually dont enjoy working in bbss. for now. i dunno why but i'm just not happy there, generally. though it seems like we TAs have fun working together. and meeting new people and getting to know them is fun as well. but there's just something missing. something that feels BIG and should be there and with it missing, makes all of it empty. i really have no idea what the shit i am talking about. but this is a definitely must not happen in the future when working becomes life. SIGH.

depressed depressed depressed.

at least now i know this isnt for me. i think.

not office.
not teaching.

then what the fuck.

maybe like a mount kinabalu guide.

i should just relax, chill. like what mathangi always says.

self esteem is going down down down down down down down.

fuck it. fuck you.

and, thats enough. let it stay as there.

healthy lifestyle from now on. vertical marathon here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they're all younger, richalynn.

starting to feel the pressures from my job. mainly the judgments and prejudices from people. i've been quite careless. making all the silly mistakes. probably put myself into the black books of some teachers. but i'll learn from my mistakes la. and try harder. i just have to settle down and get into it and get used to it. sigh. probably this job will harden me. hearing all the silly comments, sometimes insulting, from some students. it gets to me. but i shall be strong and courageous lol. i've got lots lots lots lots to learn. especially when facing a class of students. HOW is the biggest problem right now. how to handle difficult people. how to present myself properly. how to make sure i dont get affected when i am not liked. i do realise i cant be likable to every single one. "be myself" says richalynn. haha. but then again i cant totally be myself. have to act like a teacher. argh i'm just confusing myself right now.

maybe i should just conclude that, i am not cut out to be a teacher.

haha.

i guess.. i'll slowly learn and pick things up. if i could just believe in myself more. and i'm really thankful to have shida as my work mate.

one of the 8 habits of mind: finding humor in everything.

anyway.. it has been a good week. going for band after school. i'm still as enthusiastic as ever. haha. then jogging with ttb, melvin. have been trying my best to come home early everyday. at least i show that i care. putting in more effort into this house and family. sigh. why does it have to come this way...

right now i'm just gonna do whatever that is right.

it couldnt have gotten any sexier.

OH MY GOD.

i just look forward to seeing some people everyday.

they make the day count.

i really wanna blog, but nothing seems to be coming out.

it feels like i'm just floating through life right now.

waiting for things to happen.

i should just lay my two feet on the ground and do something.

but whats there to do!

theres a lot.

but the word

laziness

is taking over my life.

it has always been.















sigh.

i really want the band to prosper again.








emptiness.

yes.

thats probably the most accurate word to describe how i feel right now.

2008!

and just now we were talking about how the world will kind of end in 2012. type 2012 in yahoo and go find out! 4 more years?

okay better not.

i had the most fun last days of 2007. ttb and weixing staying over at my house. doing jigsaw puzzle. sean, matt and ben coming over. and new years with mathan, ttb, sean, jx and melvin, and my sis and dad! it couldnt have gotten any better.

thank you for the memories.

gonna say goodbye to 2007 soon!

phew.

heck of a year.

but first, the holidays were really great. with malaysia trip with odacers being the most memorable. i really really really enjoyed being with them, plus away from singapore, and doing the fun stuffs. i'll really miss this trip alot. and hope there is more to come. but the most sad thing is we didnt get to sit in the spaceshot. i really looked forward to that. oh well. there's always next time. but the feelings and joy we had there, only once. that's why its so special. and i had one of the best nights in the KL hotel room. just the few of us, playing crap card games and just laughing and laughing and laughing. i never had such a good laugh in a long time. haha. i love you all!

and then.. it was the one day trip to batam. with sean, richavel, cousin and friends. water skiing! it was really fun too. first time for me. and i only manage to do the knee one. and the real wakeboarding was a total failure. haha. try again next time. anyway the company and just one day of relaxation in the sun. NICE. plus cute dogs, very shuang boat ride, new friends, pro people doing wakeboarding. ahhh. i wanna go back!

christmas was pretty unforgettable too. first time getting really drunk. near 10 tequila shots. is that bad?? hahaha. anyway i totally embarrassed myself in front of my younger sis. i swear i'm never get that drunk again! it was once again spent in my mum's place. lots of her friends, karaoke, alcohol, fun people laughing and dancing. hahah. merry christmas everybody!!

bbss band juniors chalet! i always still forever miss bbss band. and also the trom outing. which only 5 ppl turned up? simin, lynn, aloy, bryant and i. hahah. pizza hut, walking, and then going all the way to ps to see deyong. haha. it was alright. at least we met up. trom section rocks forever!! i'll miss lynn too. wonder how is she doing over in australia? lynn!! if you read this, happy new year! hahah. the chalet was really fun!! haha. okay la. actually it was nice catching up with them. simin, kailing, and the juniors. talking about past band times and other stuffs. i love this kind of moments la.. sigh. however busy we get, i'll always think of them.

what else.. prom. which was alright only.. photos. and then pub with raine, kelvin, mei fung, jihyun. and movie with raine after that. miss them.

i dont seem to accomplish what i planned to do before the hols. like reading a lot of books, bla bla. and i still haven finished tales of symphonia. and piano lessons keep getting postponed. and a little strain in the relationship with my dad. house renovation nearly done. come visit my house people!

and i'm so happy i got a job as a teacher assistant in bbss! the best sch of my life. and i'm going back again. i'm really looking forward to it. feel so lucky!

new year resolution: take initiative at home and everywhere, and always be ready to catch the ball.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

i'm missing out quite a lot!

and i miss a lot of ppl.

and theres one thousand and one things i wanna do.

but i have no money.

and i wanna work.

but i can only start after christmas.

i cant wait for batam this sun with sis, sean, cousin and friends.

and also genting trip with odacers i bet its gonna be a blast!!

and christmas.

i miss