hahah. band camp was great.

anyway on monday, i had geog make up lesson.. and after that went to have lunch with fen, raine and christopher.. haha. went home and suppose to STUDY! sigh wasted time here and there. and excitedly went for the band camp. haha. stayed over night. FUNNNNN. reached there and slacked around with some seniors. then.. trombone sectionals! haha. okay so i saw a totally different side of bryant and vanessa. and all of them are really LOUD. hahahah. really happy for them to have reached this far. and, i also taught gloria.

trombone section, ALL THE WAY.

lol.

then at night they had their showtime. super funny! then ghost stories.. haha. lights out but most sec 4s hung around outside bandroom. and we started to play cards.. chatted with some of them. =)))) play play play, hang hang hang, then we went for the nightwalk. haha. some of the sec4s joined us. and really sorry if we sorta hai ni men. but i guess everything's fine. walk until the basketball court there, and the graduated seniors started talking about the past! which is what happens most of the time when you bring alumni people together. hahahha. really fun hearing and sharing all the moments. camps, concerts, syfs, seniors, scandals, leaders. haha. walk back to bandroom and continue talking.. i was like half asleep already... but i just listened.

next day, we woke up quite late.. haha. i went with trom section to clean their instru. then... hahaha. nothing much lor.. just talk. after that while they had chicken dance and did their thing at the carpark, jx, daniel, casper, fadly and me started to play past pieces. and really fun! though we really sucked. haha. out of the shadows bar 67. i still can remember the positions after so long. and my fav into the joy of spring! rocks! ALUMNI SHOULD COME BACK LA..... haha. so.. they ended their camp, and we left for lunch and movie.

watched 300! i feel like such a loser saying this but i fell asleep during the first parts of the movie. ARGH! sigh. sorry la cant help it really tired due to lack of sleep. i'm gonna watch again! after block test. but the movie is really not bad. haha. after that went to cut hair at my mum's there. once again, too short. dinner with her.. then home. tried to study. but oh well it never happens.

today its like 8 to 5 in school! but okay la.. gonna study!!!

looking forward to band concert. =))))))))))))))))))))




















i miss you.

this few days have been goooood. march hols are here! but have to study for coming block test.. which i'm totally not ready for..

i went back to bbss! on wednesday.. to collect the concert tickets. and see the band!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cant believe i felt so nervous entering the school. and entering the band room. but i was REALLY HAPPY. to see the band again. after so blooody long. i really miss them so so so so so much. especially my trom section. and especially DEYONG. we didnt talk much though that day.. went back with sean and jx. haha. we just stood around listening to the band play.. hahaha. they sound not bad.. and of course my section.. still standing strong. hahah.

and thurs and fri.. was studying for music theory.. studying for exam.. hw.. all the crap.

sat had my music theory exam! 3 hours.. was alright la.. quite hard got some dunno.. hai. but hopefully a merit.

after that met jx and we went back to band again!!!!!!!!!!!! they were having their camp.. until next tuesday.. hahah. a lot of seniors went back. plus the sp people.

just this mixture of happy, scared, nervous, i-miss-this-ALOT, and so wanna stay and never leave feeling.

we joined in their practice. and, omg. after so so so so so so long, i finally got to play my instrument again. i actually felt scared, to use something that was once so dear to me. quite sad. but it was great. sitting beside deyong once again, playing with the band, looking at mr goh conduct, counting rests, throwing saliva, flipping scores, cringing at off-tune notes....................... okok lol. hahha. that 2 plus hours, passed so quickly..

bbss band, the best thing that ever happened to me.

wish them all the best. for the concert. and coming syf.

and i'm gonna be ushering for their concert! haha.

and please please start alumni band again.

hai.. shouldnt have stopped.

i want to continue.

anyway.. yep that was last night.. after that seniors went to have a drink at the coffeeshop. with mrgoh. hahah. jx, fadly and me sat down with lingzhi and mrgoh. talked about stuffs. mr goh is the best!

after that went to meet sean. and 3 of us watched movie. primeval. ok only la.. and we walked back to my house.. went to visit amirul.. hahaha. until around 3 am. i reeached home, and slept on the sofa until today 12 pm. SIGH. so much time wasted again. seriously need to study today.

i'm going back tomorrow again!!! cant wait.

=(((((((((((((((((((((

hahahah. i had my piano exam today. grade 4. and

i

didnt

do

well.

very sad now.

sigh. screwed the scales and the first piece. the rest is just okay. not excellent, but just normal. sigh. i'm just hoping i can get at least a merit.

fuck it.

but the examiner is really nice.

i dont understand why i had to be nervous, when i know examiners will be quite nice. stupid nerves, clumsy fingers. ARGH.

never mind.. it's over. to err is human. haha. next up, grade 5!! hahaha. exciting. gonna work hard this time.

and theory exam this sat. MUST GET DISTINCTION. haha.


today's quite interesting. we were doing chem SPA halfway when we felt the tremors. whole sch had to gather at the track. haha. and wait for information. then... we went back to normal lessons, and had to do SPA all over again. and fuckkkkkkkkkkk again, i think i was marked down on the using pipette part. for all my 5 years of doing chemistry practical, i've been sucking up solutions into the pipette with my mouth. and miss tan never said a thing. until today then she slammed down that red sucker thing in front me which i had no idea how to use. shit. so i struggled a bit and thanks. sigh. but the rest should be fine... after chem spa was over, earthquake again! so this time whole sch gathered at the field. waited quite long, until mrs lim announced that we were dismissed. hahah. everyone cheered la which is quite slappable. but oh well, it's school.


last week, was odac meetings.. odac meetings.. odac dryruns.. and night cycling on fri! hahahha. super fun. yea.. really nice la cycling on the roads. and the night breeze. and the full moon that night. and i cant wait for the giant ferris wheel to be done. despite the damn damn damn painful experience, the whole thing was enjoyable.

1 week and 5 days.

hooray.

VERTICAL MARATHON

Together, TLBS conquered this building, 60 storeys high. and very glad!

hahah. it was a fun day. we reached the place super early. and just studied, walked around. felt so nervous and excited. we kept planning and planning what to do. and setting targets for ourselves. after a while, felt quite motivated. and finally it was our turn. that moment at the starting point where all the saints queued up, felt really... special. and congrats to ZIYI for being so fast. 60 storeys, 9 mins. my gosh. anyway for me... ran up the first 10 storeys and just started to walk. really really really tiring and you just feel like stopping. but i didnt... adviced not to. haha. and well. hahaha. just up and up and up. nice to read motivational signs on the way up. and people stationed at certain floors who are really friendly. haha. cheryl and i finally reached. way behind the guys, and way behind our target. sigh! really that regretful feeling... sucks. could have done so much better, gone so much faster.

its really great experience. and we're gonna try again next year. hahaha. so fun.

TLBS!

haha. packed weekend over. another whole junk of things coming up ahead. 2 SPAs, 2 tests, and piano exam all packed into the first 3 days of next week.

yesterday had oec meeting. and we're almost there. a few more dryruns. some brushing up. and 27 april will be here very soon!

and today... ended school quite early. had lunch with grace, fen and jy. haha. nice. we should have more times like this la. and reached home, piano, solonight. later hw and hw and hw.

life. haha.

this morning's scripture reading sorta got to me. dont be so caught up with our own lives that we're insensitive to others and their needs.

its not all about you and your life and how much you wanna show the whole world what kind of life you're living. doesnt work, and it irritates.

haha. 2 weeks and 5 days.

mindoverbodymindoverbodymindoverbody!

omg vertical marathon tomorrow. and i'm damn nervous. did a few practices with TLBS after odac on wed and fri. BUT, i totally cant make it. it is really damn damn damn tiring. climbed up 3 sets of 20 storeys. and... well each time after 10 storeys can die already. its like that suan-ness in your legs and breathlessness. oh gosh... how i am suppose to even complete 60 storeys tomorrow.

but its okay! positive mindset! can one! just do it. just keep climbing. and think. a little bit more. its more of mind over body. I HOPE. just gonna keep going. dont wanna let TLBS down!!! not gonna let gravity pull me down. I MUST DO IT.

anyway... teambuilding day today organised for scholars and kids from hougang sec, st mag's and scgs! SAINTS ODAC did a great job today. improved from the last teambuilding day. hahah. thanks to mr lam for... those encouraging words. anyway, i was station master for the the great pearl caper. and this time i did it alone. so sad, the scholars didnt play it, and i couldnt experience their fun. haha. anyway the kids, they call them RCY, okay la... though very un-enthu. cant blame them though! maybe the whole teambuilding thing just didnt suit them. so... 5 groups, one by one came to play my game. and i guess they enjoyed it! cause it's quite exciting and really screamable when the ball comes rolling down and you have to keep it on the transport thing. haha. i did better then last time. less nervous and more clear instructions. thing to improve on: maybe i could observe people more and not just the game. haha. so congrats to odac!! and also the taskforce for doing such a detailed and GREAT job. next up! orientation!!! image-really-counts time.

so that was today. and after tomorrow, it's like less stress. though still got all sorts of shit like practical spas, music exams, blocktests... times like this... ONE STEP AT A TIME.

last night quite fun.. TLBS went to train then we went to the thai food restaurant there again to eat. haha. loves. and today after teambuilding. bunch of us went to macs to hang. haha. "gambled".

reached home, did some stuff. and slept until 12?? sigh. now very awake.

fucking HW.

hai hai hai hai. it should end now. enough. one more time and i'm gonna spoil everything.

piano lesson cancelled today. so i reached home quite early. and slept. another of those moody days.

cny was.......... err. really nothing. visited only 2 houses? and saw the rest during the reunion lunch. worst and worst each year. nothing to talk about to my cousins. actually got la... but all awkward and all that fuck. very sad. but it was nice to see them again... knowing how they're doing now.

argh.

another example of how screwed my family is. my cousin got married and my dad didnt tell me or my sis. and wow, we only knew during the lunch. and i totally felt great about that. sigh. he probably thinks that we are too busy to even care. just. fuck.

thanks. not involved in a family.








never mind.. optimism. no big deal.



stupid vertical marathon.

stupid music exams.

stupid block test.

stupid a levels.

stupid DRAC.

go figure.

stupid family.






there's more to life. waiting for my calling. haha.

time to think about what the hell to do in the future.





anyway went out with mum and sis, and zak on monday. watched midnight movie. dinner. pool. was nice.... but quarelled with sis again. i failed. only can meet them once in a while. and... i screwed it up. wow. pissing everyone around me off.

tuesday. with jx, matthew, benedict, melvin. CSed which wasnt fun this time.

cant believe you're lying and acting your way through everything. nice life you're living.

long bridge.

hypocrisy.










wednesday back to school. odac. trained for VM. ha. prepare to die.

haha. half the battle lost.

yay.

guy next street,

is impossible.





haha.

pleading to everyone out there: please leave real sharkfin's eating only to cnys. so that you can enjoy sharkfins for more years. and your children can have a taste of sharkfins.








no reunion dinner. but reunion lunch just now at some restaurant. was pretty nice. met the see-once-in-a-year relatives. wasnt much fun. no like group chatting. everyone on their own. very heartwarming indeed. sigh.

anyway. xin nian kuai le everyone.










SLACK TIME.

as usual.

oh god. our cat jazz died, and i didnt know. until now. what the fuck is wrong with me? i've been so busy. only home late at night. i know i've not been seeing him around, for like 2 days already. and i didnt bother to ask my sis or my dad.

so he jumped off the window in the middle of the night on monday? and people please tell me what day is it now. i only found out 3 days later. that my PET DIED.

please just kill me. how ignorant i can be.

why?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? and i dont understand why my sis didnt tell me.

what the fuck. really.















jazz...



























see how screwed up my family is. ZERO communication.

so now we are 3 selfish individuals living our own lives under one fucking roof. no sharing. not knowing what the fuck is going on with each other.

this is really depressing.

and cny. HA. no feelings of a bloody new year. no joy. no decorations. no food. no new clothes. nothing new. no cleaning up of house. no bloody cousins to visit. maybe only one or two uncles.

just.. whatever.

really nice.

really comforting.

really wonder how i've been able to stay optimistic about life.

no love.

alone at home.













perhaps since now it's chinese new year, i have to do something.


its really very sad.


hai. piano exam coming up. both practical and theory. 6 march and 10 march. and... i have to spend most of my time now and most of cny doing music and practising piano. i have to do it. do well. i must.

and screw studies. continue sleeping in lectures richalynn. you're really doing very well. just dont stop sleeping. a levels is still fucking far away.

so confused right now.

but oh well. one at a time.










valentines day was rather nice. had odac. after tt the "lonely hearts club" haha went to have dinner together at the thai shop there near our sch.. then went to the playground. and climbed onto that spider web thing. was really nice. just talking. love such times. cheryl, serene, ziyi, edmund, lester, nat and me. haha.

met melvin and jx after that.





guess i have to deal with all these on my own. no one really cares. so it seems. not that i'm blaming.. but everyone has their own set of problems. and mines not the worst. so just forget it. anyway i'm not one who really shares problems with people.

sometimes i just so hope there's someone who's really with me.

with me.














hai... and so it happens again. stuck. left there hanging. waiting. thinking. hoping.

but will never happen.

one sided.






no mood................................................

"i understand why you have to do this"

"thanks"

but i wish you didnt have to"

"me too"























"i love you"



















god.





back to work!!!

bio test. maths test. gp compre. chem tutorial.

BURN THEM ALL!!!!









haha.






06.

heya. sigh. super sssssssiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn. ARGH. already only a few hours left to next SCHOOL DAY. to a bloody monday. and, i have not finished up one work. and there's this stupid geog grp work, which totally sucks as well. and how did i spent the whole sunday afternoon? sleeping. damn cool. so cool. best thing to do. i tried ok... i sat down at my study table. my work in front of me. i so wanted to finish up everything. i was doing compre, and nothing i read got into my bloody head. every 10 mins i got up to walk and get something to eat. but there's freaking nothing in the fridge. i transfered my study area to the bed. ahahaha. a little better, but in the end still fell asleep.

sigh............................................................................ why the fuck? shouldnt be sleeping so much. shouldnt be feeling tired so easily. this period of life should be like the peak in terms of energy level.

just shut up.

but i think i know why doing anything is so sian. cause there is one thing that tops everything else in the world. for now. haha. OC!

that's the dumbest thing. but i have to finish it up ASAP. then i can go back to normal life. sigh.

gp movie in vivo, orienteering dryrun and solonight recce in pulau ubin. colour of that day: yellow and white. haha. SOOOOOOOO HAPPY CAN...............................................

week of oc. probably cant anymore next week.


OH NO!!! TEAMBUILDING GAMES.

shit.