in sch's com lab now.. having 2 hours break before gp. and then going to vj for soccer match!!! gotta look for ben. and then hopefully some of us will go watch SPIDERMAN tonight! damn looking forward to it. since last year. topher grace!

anyway. OEC. was awesome. i really enjoyed it. being with fellow odacers, J1s and teachers. really felt like it shouldnt end so soon. everything just zoomed past. and the 3 days are over.

first day. odacers met at 4.30. and started to prepare.. final briefing.. dinner. was quite rushed, which wasnt suppose to be, since we have to put up a prepared front for the J1s. then they arrived, and station masters went to prepare the games.. while leaders were in the classroom with J1s. and i saw the fierceness coming out from them. hahaha. then yuda and me prepared for 4-way support. and J1s went to pitch tent, which i guess was quite stressful for them? i dunno.. then waited for the first group to come. the station game for me was quite alright.. we were suppose to be serious. first 2 groups i still could act like i was serious. but when group 3 came in.. yumin's group. hahhahaha. i heck already. its a game anyway! yeah.. i just laughed along and stuff. but they were quite quiet. but 4 way support for them.. i guess its okay. and as a station master, i could see the different moods of the groups. and some J1s stood out. well, good experience for me. haha. the last game changed to wet weather programme. which brought forward our time by a lot. and after that J1 family time with their groups.. and taskforce and spare people slacked around in the gallery. haha. loves! slept at around 1 plus. cold cold cold. in the trophy room. and started to rain at around 4 am. went down to check for solonight stores. =( fucking unprepared.

2nd day! hahahah the highlight of the whole camp. okay early in the morning. PT for J1s. not that hiong though. then prepared to set off for ubin. commotions here and there. scoldings. bla bla. then got on the bus and reached changi jetty. travelled to ubin. everything went quite smoothly. then J2s left our logs and bags in the van. so shuang can. never mind J1s you'll get to experience this next year. and all the privileges of a senior. the trek to campsite, yu da and me led it. i have not much idea how it went on at the back. but hopefully it left an impact on them. J1s pitched their tents, and set off for orienteering. wanling and me went to recee the solonight route.

sigh! went to recee beberek route first. and since the route had a lot of slopes which couldnt be used for J1s spot, i shortened the distance to 30m. and SMARTASS ME had to change it for the other routes as well. one wrong choice, and i made the solonight a less exciting or scary one. sigh, and i kept worrying about movers not being able to see the lightstick, but not whether the J1s will have a good solonight or not. i am damn freaking sad. something that left a great impression on me, and i failed to do the same for the juniors. really felt like shit when i heard the comments. i really didnt want it to be that way. theres so many lessons to learn from here. and one was by mr lam, who told me that i could be less nice, and firmer. sigh. the sad thing is also that this is only like once in a lifetime thing, that i could plan for solonight. and i failed. failed even after a lot of thinking and planning. not enough i guess. fuck my complacency.. okay it's over now, dont cry over spilled milk. which i did. perhaps i overreacted. but, i'm really upset with myself. to have failed one very important aspect of oec. so juniors next year do do a good job.

anyway! back to topic. haha. saw seniors while receeing the route. and kelvin came cycling past and "hua ren!" me. omg. hahah. after so long. i miss that phrase. saw henry as well, and chang dee!! and yuanling, and jessie. amos. miss them. sad thing they left early.

anyway wanling and me saw some groups did their scenarios. and some things are quite joke. especially "lost". really can laugh when they turned their heads together and all the same expression. haha. the "omg what happened?!" look. lol. hornets attack too. quite forced la everything.. then.. gathered at campsite, everyone started cooking. advance party got ready and left. i totally had no idea what was coming next. i was suppose to brief them for candle warfare. but being the in-charge for that moment, put me in a damn difficult spot. at least for me. okay, so miss seow was observing J1s and decided they ought to be scolded, because of slow movement, and being late. so i started "scolding" them, asking them to return to their tents and gather back again in 20 seconds. downed them for being late again. and miss seow was like guiding me throughout. i really had no guts to scold them, and miss seow helped me in some parts. first time in my life. but, of course i could have done better. she said i should just imagine myself being a higher level above them, that i have the authority, so that i can feel more confident. anyway, it was another learning point foe me. then i led them back to basketball court. fast walk. made them run a little.

haha. next was candle warfare. hope they had fun! though it was pretty boring looking at people play. maybe next time seniors can join in. haha. solonight next. i briefed them. mr lam added in stuffs. and they set off. i followed yumin's group. group 3. JMT. hahahhha. reached the hut. and started dispatching. lasted until 2 plus. walked back to campsite and slept.





okay... i'm home. had to stop blogging just now since casey leong was gonna have lesson. haha. back to topic.

i guess the rain helped us get more sleep. and the hornets attack seem different. and the way back to school. clean tents. debrief. haha. lazy to elaborate already la.

the whole camp is really one big learning experience. and i'll really miss it. both as a junior and a senior.

anyway today's quite good. despite the early morning scolding by casey leong. its not my freaking fault. blame the stupid lock. sigh. anyway after school, went to watch soccer match with raine and cheryl. joined some odacers after that. we had fun watching. and went for dinner after that at marina square. we ate at la quinta. something new. and it was nice! the ambience damn romantic, and we just chatted and ate. =) so nice.

back home. so much hw to complete. aiya just feel like sleeping now. sigh.

spiderman 3!

ITS OEC TOMORROW! i'm damn damn damn excited. and afraid as well, that things may screw up. all the planning since december last year. i remember coming back from krabi and the next day or something? is oec meeting already. and how many oec meetings after that. over a span of 3 to 4 months. it has been a great experience, working with people so closely, arguing over things, and there's this hidden friction. but of course after a while its all okay. and i had to figure, how on earth to get rid of these negative feelings. but of course "get over it" and draw a clear line between friendship and work. people change under different circumstances and we just have to fit along with each other. i guess.

what on earth am i talking about.

anyway, thank you eeling, serene, cheryl, edmund, clarissa and geok. we ought to celebrate after oec. =)))) through all the meetings and everything about oec, i've got to know so much more about you people. and i'm really glad, and i hope the end of oec wont mean the end of us. as in, ahaahaha. ya you get what i mean. haha. really, i had a great time with you all. all the chat and digression. i will really miss us.

and oec! oh gosh. i just cant wait for it to come right now actually. but i havent packed, havent sort out my thoughts. and i'm just too excited to do any homework tonight. haha.

like yumin said, memories in the making.

the past couple of weeks was odac-ing all the while. and despite all the sian things we have to do, we still have fun together. and all the after odac sessions, dinner, celebrating birthdays, just chilling from toapayoh to xiu's house to bugis. its feels so good just to think that we've come so close together.

and i hope J1s and J2s will get friendly with each other soon.. not J1 and J2, but one odac.



i miss piano. i miss sean and jx and melvin. i miss band.

the walk towards the bus stop. and that bus ride. OH MY GOD.

another one of those "so near yet so far".

haha. black out! everything can be turned on except the lights. tried flipping those things in the box thing.. but to no avail. sigh. so.. cant really do my homework, although there's such a thing called torchlight. but aiya fuck it la. shall wait for my dad to come back and fix it.

back to school today. 10 weeks left to block test 2. and i dont feel anything yet.

odac on friday was.. okay. we did our last practise for oec station games.. and after that we ended quite early! for the first time in how many months. and wanling, cheryl and me went jogging.. after that bunch of us went to toapayoh for dinner. hahaha. it was quite fun, just being with odacers. ate at foodcourt.. nobody wanna watch movie.. so cheryl val and me took 157 together and decided to go west mall! hahahah. MY TURF! and i brought them to the 30th storey. hahah my favourite place in bukit batok and holds many nice memories. sighs in bliss. i guessed they loved it too, cause the view at night is great. haha. we chatted, and listened to music. love them so much and i'm really grateful to have known them. hehe. we must stay in touch even after this year okay! looking forward to our end of year trip to KL. lol.

so many end of year plans. so my next step is to make sure i deserve them!

sat was oec meeting and sleeping at home.

sunday was with sean and met denver day. he's nice!

and i did do my HW.

yay.

and today... argh. boring school life. and i have no idea why 5 of us, after so long, still cant really... dunno how to say, like, connect? as in really connect and... ahh whatever. i miss last year, when we were more fun, when we MOS-ed...... really hope we dont drift apart. lets get the ball rolling again! =( other then that... i guess everything else is okay. excitement is what we need.

haha.

things coming up next. OEC. geog overseas trip. LTC. Alevels?? haha.

okay the lights are back.

and dinner's ready.

i miss you so much.

remember me.

HAHAHHAHA I HAD A GREAT NIGHT! and evening. today left sch immediately to go to bbss!!!! the band had their syf today.. and some of us seniors went to support. oh gosh i've been looking forward to this day ever since. and now its over. so quickly. but yes, we had an awesone time. really love these times. really love the band. and CONGRATS TO BBSS CONCERT BAND FOR ATTAINING THE

SILVER AWARD!

really happy and proud of them. they did really well. and maybe could have deserved a gold. cause we heard previous bands that got silver too, which... i think we are really better! hahah. but oh well.. still good! sustained silver awards. which is so great. and of course the juniors who are stepping down.. they left a legacy.. something they can leave behind and feel good about it. =) really, you guys did it.

and of course, TROMBONE SECTION ROCKS!

anyway we went to SCH. and i'm really glad to have caught up with fellow bandmates like kailing, peiling, simin and steph. we played those games, "ni wo ta" and then name game, and that jx game while the band was waiting to get registered or something. hahahah. funny! and then we went into the concert hall to listen to the other bands first. and at 5.30 pm, BBSS band entered the stage. that adrenaline rush. hahahahah. felt really excited and nervous for them. and was praying real hard they will do a great job. and then memories of the past came rushing back into my mind... 4 and 2 years ago i was there. and i can still remember quite clearly how i felt... how the audience looked... how i was so nervous and so scared to make a mistake... and the only words on my mind were "100% concentration on mr goh".. and now i'm looking at the band from the audience. anyway yep, they really played well. i recorded it and it sounds really nice! hahah. it ended really fast. and then we waited for the results time. they were the last band to play for the day... so their results were the last. ...band 99, band 100, band 101...

"band 102, bukit batok secondary school...

silver."

hahahahhahh everyone screamed! everyone was so happy.

the judges really raised their standards this year.. so this silver is a much better silver than the silver 2 years ago.

this calls for celebration.

back to bbss. and playing and talking with the seniors at the concourse. so funnn. haha. bunch of us went to macs to eat and chat. hahah. really fun, talking about old times...

everything ended well. once again, i'm gonna miss band a lot a lot a lot. and the juniors, especially the sec 4 batch. especially trombone section. all the best for their o's. and hope to see them soon again!
















































anyway. FUCK. today had napfa or however you spell it. now i know whats really xin li zhang ai. and what fear can do. destroy you. bring you down completely. and its the WORST when it happens to something that you're actually really good at, something that means so much to you. SIGH. its really not good to think too much into things. and put unnecessary stress onto myself. i'm really very disappointed..... upset. its not me. and why must this happen.

sadness i still have hw to do and odac stuffs to prepare for. i've not done anything, and i really wanna go to sleep now and forget about everything.

GOOD NIGHT.
























thanks for the hug. you made my day, made my night. treasure you alot, my favourite junior.

despite the "fuck you"s.

haha.

SO TIRED.

:(

but all are good. exciting camps coming up.

i really wish the best for bbss band tomorrow.

and really have to start studying now. because BT2 is 10 weeks=70 days away. and we have ALL the topics to study. and i really wanna do well enough.

sleeping at 4am these few nights. supposed to be vigorous studying, but hai. at least i did my hw.. and watched a lot of tv. my sis rented dvds back, and movies on hbo and starmovies. inside man, red dragon. damn nice la........

argh one day left. back to school.

only look forward to thursday.

and oec.

have some faith.

hahah love today! slack time in school.. and then oec meeting. after odac went to meet sean! hahah after so many days. it was great. we went to ps.. had dinner and watched movie. while waiting for the movie we went to starbucks. and just talked all the way... same usual crap which are still amusing. we watched sunshine. its really... not understandable. some far fetched science fiction movie about the sun dying and this team of scientist in space on their way to revive the sun. quite sad.. dying one by one. but anyway reason i wanna watch: CILLIAN MURPHY. look at his eyes and you want to look at him forever.

spiderman 3. POC. fantastic 4. zodiac.

haha. must catch.





3 days break. hw and hw and hw. thats all i wanna do. yes.




and new phase of odac. last phase. =(















so many "should have"s.

just read some of the odacers blogs about orientation and oec, haha i shall blog too. although gp essay and bio practical are still waiting for me since friday. fuck la. i just have to wait until the very end then start worrying. a total turnoff. and yes, triple Us await me too. congrats for getting the worst results in my life and also at this point, when POSITIVE motivation is what i need for A's.

triple Us. wake up call.

just give up, you mean.




hahaha. okay la. actually i really dont know why i dont feel like super depressed yet. about results. maybe i expected all these, and i think hope pray that things will work out. i mean, i'm starting to change. i dont sleep during lectures anymore! and i am going home straight after school nowadays. its a start right.

sigh.

just dont slack anymore. start now.









anyway, odac orientation 2007! ahahha. it was successful, and with mr lam's praises and encouragement, definitely ended everything on a good note. and i was facilitator with yuda. haha. we had fun with eugene krab ppl. they're quiet at the start but we saw them opening up after a while, which is really good. hope they had fun. but i didnt know what was i doing, quite quiet during the icebreaker cause yuda was answering 99% of their questions, and during the games screaming and shouting randomly, but my group had no reaction. ahha. oh well. first time facil i also anyhow la. haha. hopefully everyone comes back on wednesday for FIELDCOOKING. fun ok.

and the oec recee yesterday, was quite good i guess. and damn tiring for everyone. but this is probably the last time we're stepping foot on that island before OEC. so. haha. had solonight recce, and then orienteering dryrun, and then solonight at night. from 10 to 10. nice la. haha. taskforce again has to make changes. major ones. oh god. i really hope we do a good job, because i know we didnt start well, leaving everyone thinking that we're unorganised and whatever thats negative. give us a chance to learn. and yes, it was fun. especially the going back part walking from murai hut to the jetty. its these times when everything counts! thank you mr lam for the sparklers. and just walking as once odac, singing, making noise, counting strength. and then the boat ride back was.............................. ahhhh. so shuang. bright moon night sky sea view breeze blowing into face ppl singing. love it. after that was dinner with some of them. and home with cheryl. =)




thank you for changing my impression of you. getting to see this side of you is really great. because now i know you're the real shit inside. self-centered, stuck up, and insensitive.

argh.

okay back to work. sigh.


missbandmissbandmissbandmissband.

i need some excitement in my life.

school sucks.

it's just that feeling of wanting to be somewhere else.

anyway, yesterday was fun, stayed home most of the time. and then went out with sis and cousin jeffery to watch movie! we watched the hitcher first. which is quite alright. yea scary. and the hitcher is SEAN BEAN. he is damn sexy. and even though he's damn evil and psycho you dont want him to die in the end. haha. not because he's cool or whatever, but just his role. and then the movie ended soon. too early for dinner so we watched 300! 2nd time for me. hahaha. love it. the fighting scenes damn nice, slow mo then fast slow mo then fast. haha.

after that we met sean and jx, ate at pastamania. had a fun time talking!

went to 30th storey with jx and sean. then home.

so many movies wanna catch. number 23, spiderman, bla bla.

term 2. end quickly please. whats coming... odac. orientation. J1s!!! then all the activities, plus oec and ltc. wooooo.

bbss band SYF!!!!

then really hope to go for that geog trip to sabah.

and nothing much i guess... all the competitions coming up.

above all, study hard. and

piano.