SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. felt so motivated to study after getting back shitty bio paper on friday. reached home early and tried doing chem. but bloody ionic chem is such a piss off. shit! and i slept away the whole afternoon. and tv-ed the whole night.

and today was great! christine's and samuel's wedding. feel really happy for them. i went to uncle jason's house in the morning. reached there late! sigh so mei qi and i couldnt join in with the other bridesmaids. felt so bad like couldnt do anything to help. but anyway, most of the time just standing around, or taking pictures, and just enjoying and observing everything. at night was the wedding dinner. sweetness, and my whole family was there. even chinese new year also dont have such full reunion. was nice seeing everyone again... especially meiqi. and everyone just looks so damn good. half the time i was thinking how i want my wedding to be like next time. hahaha.

thursday was really fun too! melvin's birthday celebration. i miss BMS so much.

sigh 4 weeks left. OMG!

5 more weeks! sigh. started studying already. everyday doing maths and another subject. have plans.. but this stupid fear. what if this doesnt work. maybe this is not the most productive way. oh come on! 12 years of studying please tell me i know my studying style and whats best for me! argh. anyway. got back some papers already. passed maths. E. on the freaking dot. SIGH. i could have done much better i know it. and then bloody bio paper 3. so not what i expected. terrible... anyway at least i improved generally i think. which is a good thing. which means i still have a little hope. which means i should aim higher. the highest. all As. i know i'm not dumb. hahaha. and the 5 weeks is enough to consolidate everything.

just aiya whatever.

do your best.

nothings beats that.

i now pronounce you chuck and larry is a much watch!!! its damn funny. and really a good de-stress movie. adam sandler always promises good jokes and laughter.

vietnam trip at the end of the year! with odac. i wanna go!!! must go. shit, gonna spend so much money after A's if i'm gonna do everything i'm planning to do. so, start saving. minimal spending this 5 weeks.

and bridesmaid-ing for cousin this sat. chi kind one.. so have to stop the groom from entering the house and all the chi drama thing. haha. cute.

hang in there everyone. almost there.

i just wish you could appear right now, and take me back to where you came from.

i think i should really just get over it. sigh. i miss him so much!

and i felt very affected and ARGHHHHH, when i saw on tv, the tigers of india are gonna be wiped out. those fucking poachers are killing them for their fur, selling their fur to tibetians or whatever. this senseless illegal trade among developing countries and ignorant political leaders who are denying the fact that their tigers are gonna be extinct. and those poachers just set traps in these suppose to be protected areas and shoot trapped tigers right in the brain. poach la but dont freaking kill all.................................... ALL the tigers. bloody idiots should be skinned alive.

SIGH. and how many other animals are facing extinction in the world. oceans are gonna be emptied, and byebye polar bear.

there are just too much human beings on this little earth.

i've been thinking a lot about what i wanna do after A's. and i think i'll be so damn happy after the last paper. i wanna read lots of books, play tales of symphonia, resident evil, and all the games i have in game cube, i wanna go cyling at pulau ubin, i wanna go to all the places in singapore i've not been to in a long time. i wanna catch up with all the people that i miss a lot. i wanna go back and play in alumni band. i wanna go overseas, wherever. I WANNA GO BACK TO SABAH. sigh. i wanna clean my room, and the house. i wanna learn cooking. i wanna work in the zoo. i wanna play lots of piano. i wanna have a nice family christmas, i wanna see the lights again. i wanna watch all the movies that i like and that i've missed. wanna watch oc, nip tuck, prison break, and all of it. i wanna climb mountains. i just want A's to be over soon. now.

but. wanna enjoy all that. its best that i suffer now. just 6 more weeks. shut myself off from all play. study. prepare. and just 8 days of papers. i must work hard! i am larger than A levels! i'll kill it! STUDY, PRAY, OWN!

i'll be there for you

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love it's suicide

You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday

And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you


And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

yesterday was one full of SHIT day. sigh. and i decided, forget it i need a break. i cant carry on like that. i cant concentrate, and your bloody presence just makes me feel like dropping everything and leave. argh! just one of those days when i feel like suddenly i have no friends in the world. fuck! sigh. so i reached home at around 5, and relaxed on the sofa with the tv, and my cat on me. slept until 1 today. what a waste. and i still feel no better now, with this transparent barrier between me and the notes.

first was piano lesson. i totally sucked. never mind that.

and then comment number 1,

2

and

3.

if thats really the case, till then.







and i'm not suppose to feel unhappy in the midst of prelims.

never mind. forget everything. clear my mind. pray.

i must do well for prelims.

okay good. one day left to prelims. cheer hip hip hooray you're one step closer to the end.

dp should give more talks like these to us, cause she's really good at it. unlike....... urgh, please.

never never give up.

haha.

anyway. really hope all that studying can up my grades for a bit. sigh. come on i just gotta think harder and deeper.

and stay over matt's house with them was fun. haha. fun studying.

KEEP GOING EVERYONE.

one f-fing week left to prelims. and i'm just gonna try my bloody best. and hope to attain Ds and above. and i believe i can do this!

haha.

this week's been good. jiawei's birthday dinner on monday. was fun! we ate in seoul garden. and... i got to know 2 friends who were from bbss and i've never talked to before. hahaha. they're damn funny. its been long since such things happen...

and a lot of times studying with sean outside. which i guess was pretty productive.

then fri mummy's birthday! party at her house. invited all her friends. so many friends! all filipinos. and they're freaking wild and open, which is great! as usual karaoke, food, dancing, craziness. hahah. very fun la. but my sisters and i.. our energy level cant level up to theirs. so most of the time we were just watching people. i shy la i'm just not the entertaining type. haha. i've got to REALLY PARTY!!!!!!!! hahah. after A's. everything after A's. haha. and then my dad came... i guess my mum's really happy. and yeah.. happy birthday mummy.

and yesterday. study with sean, and movie with sean and sis! haha. finally got to catch a movie. dead silence. not bad! soundtrack damn good. and a good ending. haha. love this kind of horror la. and then after that sean came over and we studied... till 3 plus.

sigh just 3 more months till EVERYTHING is over. last paper 22nd nov. omg cant imagine how it feels walking out of that hall and that sch for almost the last time. I CANT FREAKING WAIT. more of happy then sad.


STUDY!!!!!!

haha haha haha haha. i love this week. 5 days holiday... hopefully its gonna c... r... a...w... l... by. but when you're studying, ha.

sigh. not gonna talk about bloody studies.

not gonna say how many days weeks months left.







i dunno.

seems like there's nothing much to talk about.

except, the mr lam's farewell last sat. was pretty alright. played basketball. with some j1s and angus and kelvin. haha. FUN! and then... dinner, performances, cake cutting, presents, speech from mr lam. nothing emo. yeah.. like i said in mrlams note, odac was one heck of an experience. haha.

the making of the album was fun! the day before we went to city link to get the album and photos and stuff.. and sat down to do it. simple thing, greatly enjoyed by me, with fellow odacers. =)

last week dunno doing what also.. like got study but nvr study. sigh.

disturbia, 1408, and many other i wanna watch movies.
should i???

sacrifice, self-disciplined.

yeah yeah and see what i'm doing now.

miss you!